My babyfather says I gave him a jacket

Dear Pastor,

I am 43 and I have one son. His father did not support me with him. When he was 12 and was about to go to high school, I had to buy books and clothes for him.

I called his grandmother and asked her to speak to her son on her grandson's behalf.

She is a teacher. She said she was having it very hard and she was not getting any help from her children. She asked me to send her grandson to spend the weekend with her.

I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he said that I should send him. I also sent a copy of his birth certificate to her.

When he came back, he brought three khaki pants, three shirts and $5,000. I called her and thanked her for her help. She told me that it was a sacrifice she made to buy these things.

She told me that her son said the reason he did not support the child was because he knew that another man had sex with me the same time I told him that he got me pregnant.

I told his mother that it was a big lie. She said she asked him why he didn't raise that before and he said it was because he doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

Pastor, I didn't have anything to do with any man until six months after my son was born. I was not working and the bills were piling up on me, and my landlord said he was going to give me notice to leave.

I begged him for more time and I called one of my schoolmates and asked him for help.

He had a girlfriend and she was in the US working. He told me she had just sent some money for him to put in the bank and that's all he had.

ASKED ME SEX

We talked on the phone for about half an hour and I started to cry. He said I should come to see him the following day.

I took my baby to my mother and I went to see him. He asked me for sex. I started to cry again and he wiped my face and he told me that he is not going to let me leave empty-handed.

I slept with this man and in the morning I had sex with him again, but this time I offered him voluntarily. He gave me all the money I needed for my rent and $4,000 to pay my light bill.

And about 11 a.m. that day, I left his house and hoped nobody who knew me had seen me. He has never asked me back for the money.

This man still helps me out, but he is now married. His wife knows that we are good friends, but she would either kill me or him if she should find out that we are lovers.

There is a young man who comes to see me, but he never has money. I take whatever I can get from him, but I told him that I could never marry him. He does security work.

I am looking forward to your comments.

C.F.

Dear C.F.,

First, I would like to suggest that you take this man to court for child support if you are very sure that he is the father of your son. You should force him, through the court, to support his child.

He is a worthless, good-for-nothing man. And if you are speaking the truth, he should not embarrass you by lying to his mother about you.

If you are very sure that he is your child's father, you should not hesitate to take him to court.

Now, I am concerned about what you are doing. I am not here to condemn you on the relationship you are having with this male friend.

I suppose you feel so thankful for this man, so every time you meet you want to have sex with him, and you find it difficult to break up with him.

You say that you have a male friend, but he doesn't not have much to give you. However, it is better to accept the little he has than to continue having a sexual relationship with the other man.

I would suggest that you try to work with him. His situation will not remain the same all the time. His condition must improve. So show him some respect and stick with him.

He will be very disappointed in you if he were to find out that you were having sex with another man. Try to be a good woman.

Pastor