My daughter is rude and ungrateful


May 04, 2017

Dear Pastor

I have three children by two different men. My second and third are for the man I am living with. We are not married.

My first child is well taken care of by her father and his people because one can say that he is well off.

When I got pregnant with my first child, he told me to have an abortion because his parents and his side of the family will never accept me. I told him I could not do so.

Every time I called him he would answer and promise to call me back but he didn't. Before I went into the hospital I called him at work and told his boss what was happening.

It was a female boss, and she spoke to him and called me back and asked me what I needed. I told her and she bought everything for me but he never supported my daughter.

My daughter has done well in school. And it is now that he is trying to show up himself.

Pastor, my daughter is ungrateful. She thinks that she is better than her siblings because her father has become a Christian. He invited her to church and tells everybody how well she is doing in school.

Her father and his people are 'society people'. She got seven passes in the CXC. She wants to be a doctor, like her aunt.

Her aunt is a very proud woman and is telling her that she must not use our address anymore for any business. I am not living in the ghetto so I don't see why my daughter cannot use my address.

I told her that I should have followed her father's advice and killed her when I was pregnant with her because she is too rude and out of order.

When she eats, she does not want to wash up the dishes; she expects her younger sister to do it. When it's time for her to clean, she doesn't want to.

Her aunt gives her money so she pays her sister to do these household chores for her. Not even her panties she wants to wash.

I told her that I wouldn't come to her when I am ill because she is a worthless gal, and worthless gal cannot be a doctor.

Her aunt told her that she can leave and come to stay with her. I don't want her to go, but at the same time she doesn't have any manners to me.


Dear O.P.

I am sorry that you told your daughter that you should have killed her when you were pregnant with her. I know that you didn't mean what you said and you probably said it out of anger.

From the tone of your letter, your daughter's father and his relatives have now accepted her, and that is good.

But you had to struggle with her and I am sure you did your best, and I am also sure that her stepfather did his best by supporting her too.

I don't want to think that your daughter has been ungrateful. I would rather think that she does not know better.

We know that there are men who ignored their children, but after the children have got older and doing well in school they come into their lives and are brag about them.

This seemed to be what your daughter's father is doing. It is good that he has now accepted her, but she should never forget the struggles that you went through with her.

Don't curse your daughter but insist that she does her chores. Tell your younger daughter not to accept any money from her to do these things.

If her aunt is willing to help her to pursue the career of her choice and she would prefer to have her live at her home, I would suggest that you set her free. Don't try to hold her back. Let her go.

You would not want her to say when she gets older that you hindered her from becoming a medical practitioner.

Try to take good care of yourself and all your children. Please let me hear from you again.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories