I think my girlfriend is giving me bun


May 06, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I want to commend you for the good work that you are doing. I have been listening to you on the radio and reading your column in THE STAR, and all I can say to you is to keep up the good work.

I am living with my babymother and we have one child together. She had a child before I met her, but the father has the child living with him.

I am 32 years old and my babymother is 28. I love her very much and I was planning to marry her, but my mind is changing because no matter what I do, she is not satisfied.

I work hard, Pastor, and I give her what I can afford.

Right now, we don't have a good stove. We use a coal stove and the house is on leased land. I went away on farm work, and by the time I came back, she had started a relationship with another man.

Neighbours told me about him. When I asked her about him, she said that the man is her cousin. But she refuses to give me the cousin's name. I can't believe that my girlfriend would cheat!

Since I came back, I decided to pay down on a refrigerator. I also plan to buy a stove. I am not judging her, but everybody can't lie on her.

Pastor, my mind has changed about this woman. It is not that I am not trying; I am trying to make her happy. I called her every week when I was away.

I know that I am not a saint because I cheated on her three times when I was on farm work, but I don't know the women because they were prostitutes and I protected myself well by using the condom.

I told my babymother that she would have to go and get an HIV test before we could have sex again. She is swearing that she is not going to go.

Pastor, if she will not go, I would have to leave her because I am afraid of disease. What suggestion would you like to give to me?


Dear M.K.,

You are angry over what your babymother is purported to have done. Folks have reported to you that she has another man and she has told you that the man is her cousin.

Frankly, I do not believe that your child's mother is speaking the truth. If this man is her cousin and he was coming to your house, she should give you his name, address, and telephone number.

She ought to know that you are not a fool. She is not speaking the truth. On the other hand, why do you feel that it is wrong for your girlfriend to cheat, while it is quite OK for you to do the same?

I can appreciate that you have worked hard and that you trusted your child's mother. I believe that your child's mother has appreciated what you have done for her but she lacks wisdom and common sense.

You felt you were giving her enough money, but evidently, she needed more and perhaps that was the reason why she got involved with another man.

But what about you? Do you believe that you have the right to cheat and to have prostitutes as your sex partners? What went through your head?

You were buying sex while you were away, while your woman was in Jamaica giving it away. I do not know whether she was doing so for free. I doubt that.

Cheating is cheating. You find it difficult to forgive her. Do you think that she should forgive you if she found out that you were going to prostitutes? Consider the matter and make your decision.


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