My relationship is a battlefield


May 08, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have written to you before. That was about four months ago. I am in a relationship where my lover is always around, but the relationship between us is not going well. We argue a lot and we try to avoid each other, but then get back together. Perhaps other relationships are like that, but sometimes I just feel alone.

When we are upset with each other and we make up, he would tell me how lonely and hurt he was. And when we are sleeping, he would hold me very tight so that not even breeze can pass between us.

My mom lives in Kingston. I told him that I was going to spend some time with her. He is a taxi driver. He took my son and I to the bus park to ensure that we were safe, and he waited until the bus was ready to leave. He called me every night on video chat. We talked a lot. We miss each other. But everything eventually changed. Over the last few weeks we seem distant. He still comes to my house, but his attitude has changed.

He ensures that I am fine, but he doesn't touch me while I am sleeping, as he used to do. I asked him recently if he is seeing someone else or if he is cheating, and he did not answer. I told him if he doesn't change his ways, I will be out of his life for good because I don't like to be ignored and he knows that.


We had a fight and he went to the police, crying and complaining to them. He told them lots of things. But I really don't understand how this went from a perfect relationship to a battlefield. I really love him. The relationship is four years old.

Although he brought the police on me, I still love him. The officers told us to sit and talk over our problems. But neither of us is big enough to start the conversation. I tried to do so last night, but I froze.

He called me from an unknown number and tried to change his voice. I am confused.

Tell me what should I do, Pastor.


Dear Unnamed,

You and this man don't respect each other. I can tell you now that the relationship is going to come to an end, because you seem as if you want to wear the pants. I don't know you, but you sound bossy. You want to control this man. You like pushing this man around. Curse me if you want. I think this man should leave you.


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