I found panties under his mattress


May 11, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I have a problem. My boyfriend is 25 years old. I am living in Miami, and he is in New York. Sometimes when I try to call him, I can't get him. I always have my phone with me so that when he calls me I could answer him. Most times his phone is off.

I went to see him. He knew I was coming. I did not stay at his place because he is sharing an apartment with his brother and his brother's girlfriend. But one day I went there and I decided to search his room. I was just curious to know if he has a woman. I looked in his clothes closet and only his clothes were there. I saw two rags, but I didn't judge him by that. I lifted up his mattress and I saw two nighties and three panties.


I was upset, so I called my friends and told them to pick me up. I told them why, and they told me I should not leave. When my boyfriend came I told him what I saw, and instead of apologising to me he got angry and said I had no right to be searching. He said they belong to his sister, who sometimes stays at his place.

Pastor, why would his sister be hiding her clothes? I can't trust this man anymore. I asked his sister if she left any clothes at his house, but she did not answer, so I know they do not belong to her.

He is my first boyfriend, and I never had sex with anyone else since he has been away. Sometimes I say to myself that I will marry him, but I will never trust him.


Dear P.E

You are smart enough to know that your boyfriend is not telling you the truth. Both of you have been having a long-distance relationship, and long-distance relationship can be very tough on a couple.

I think you have good reason to believe that your boyfriend is cheating. You suspected it before you left Florida because you were trying to call him without success. Some may say that you were wrong to search his room. Now that you know for sure what is going on, what should you do? That's the question you want me to answer for you. And what I am suggesting to you is that whether this man admits that he has had affairs or he has been seeing other women, if you are willing to forgive him, both of you should make appointments to see a family counsellor.

Don't be tempted to hit back at this man by having an affair with another man. That would not be a wise thing to do. Some women who have discovered that their boyfriends are having affairs with other women foolishly believe that they can have an affair with another man to try to punish their boyfriends, but that is a very foolish thing to do.

Men do not take that kindly. When the men can prove that the women have done so, they walk away from the relationships, and the women are left devastated. It is said that men love to give 'bun', but can't take it. So be faithful or leave the man totally.


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