I want to go back to my man


May 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and from St James, but I am now living in Kingston because my father is living in Kingston and he is married. My mother recently went to the States. She has not returned as yet. My mother told my father that she wants me to come back when she returns to Jamaica.

My father is married and has two children with his wife. His wife treats me well, but the only thing I don't like is where we are living. I have to share room with my little sister, and I am not accustomed to that. I have my own bed, but I don't have my own room. My sister is 11 years old. Every day my father comes home and he asks me if I am all right.

My mother is staying much longer than she had planned. She is staying with one of my aunts. I think my mother is hoping to get a job there.


Pastor, I have a boyfriend in Montego Bay, and I miss him. My father is a civil servant. He wants me to stay in Kingston and go to UWI, but I miss my boyfriend, so I would prefer to go to school in Montego Bay. But my father does not know that I have a boyfriend.

Every day I talk to him, he hopes that I don't get involved with any man in Kingston. I can't because I don't go anywhere unless we are going out as a family. A man saw me at Devon House, and he called me. My father and my siblings were sitting on a bench and I went to buy the ice cream, and he told me that he has been watching me.

I told him that he would get me in trouble because my father was sitting on the bench. He told me his number and I wrote it in my phone and committed it to memory. I called him when I had the chance. He told me he is a soldier and he wants us to go out. I would love to go out, but I am afraid.

What would I tell my father? I would have to tell him that I met this guy when we went to Devon House to buy ice cream. This guy told me that he has a babymother, but they are not getting along and she lives in Spanish Town. I don't like soldiers, so that is the end of this guy.

My boyfriend in Montego Bay is very ambitious. He wants to be a teacher. He is in college. I really miss him. He promised me that he won't get involved with any other girl. We had sex only twice, but he is not my first boyfriend.

When I was 16 years old, I had sex with a guy who my mother used to pay to take me to school and pick me up. I got to like him, and he begged me for sex. I got tired of his begging, and after a while I gave it to him. After this guy had sex with me, I did not like it, so I didn't do it with him again. When I had sex with my boyfriend, I bled a little, so he thought I was a virgin. I miss my boyfriend. He is the only reason why I will go back to MoBay.


Dear A.P,

You do not know for sure that your mother is returning to Jamaica any time soon. You need to occupy yourself and get your father to send you back to school while you are in Kingston. You are preoccupied thinking about your boyfriend. To be frank with you, you are wasting time. Your mother believes that you would be in good hands in Kingston, and that is why she sent you to live with your father.

She did not trust you to remain at her house alone. She is a wise woman. If she had left you alone in MoBay, your boyfriend would have probably had you all over the place. At least, you are under a certain amount of control at your father's house.

I am glad that your stepmother is treating you well. While you wait for your mother to return, use your time wisely. I am sure your father would like to see you in school. Apart from having sex with you, your boyfriend cannot help you.

This soldier man cannot help you. You need an education.


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