I might be pregnant for my side man


May 17, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I have always listened to your programme, but this is the first time I am writing to you.

I have just turned 22 and I think that I am pregnant. I started to have sex when I was 19. Once I thought I was pregnant but it was nothing but a false alarm.

I had one steady boyfriend and the doctor told me that I had a problem so I would not get pregnant. I said "none at all?" and he said none at all.

When my boyfriend left for the US, I started to go to college part-time. I am living with a friend and she introduced me to a guy and we started to sleep together.

She told me that she would never let me down by telling my boyfriend in the US that I am sleeping with this guy.

This guy has his girlfriend. They are going steady and they have two children. My boyfriend in the US is sending me money but sometimes it is late. So he helps me out.

His girlfriend heard that he has another woman. She saw my number in his phone, and she called me and I denied it.

My girlfriend came on the line and told her that nothing like that is happening. But another time he was at the house and we were in bed, and his girlfriend came there and called him out and he had to protect me from her.

The people in the complex came out and I felt so ashamed. That is not the way I grew up. I find myself now not able to do without him.

My boyfriend in the US doesn't know that I am keeping this man with him. If I am really pregnant I don't know what I will do, because this guy and his girlfriend are not going to leave each other.

They have two children together. If I am pregnant, I am not going to abort it because the doctor had told me that I cannot get pregnant, so this would be like a miracle.

My girlfriend told me that I should get rid of it because if I get pregnant once, I can get pregnant again. She doesn't have any children and she and her boyfriend don't use anything at all.

Pastor, I don't know what to do. I love this man, but I love my boyfriend in the US also. He is coming for the summer.

I know that if I am pregnant I would have to hide from him, I couldn't let him see me. He is always telling me not to give away his 'cookie'.


Dear G.O.

It seems to me that you are very greedy. Your boyfriend is trying to help you. Can you imagine how hard he has to work to meet his own bills, and to support you here?

You are going to evening school. You should know that there are going to be times when you will not have much money. But you would not die from hunger.

Your very girlfriend with whom you are living could give you a loan to tide you over, so to speak.

She should not have encouraged you to have another man in your life. She has her own man and she should be faithful to him, just as how you should be faithful to your man.

You are fortunate that the girlfriend of the man you are seeing did not give you a good beating to teach you to leave her man alone.

I am not here encouraging violence, I am just saying you are too greedy. And your girlfriend with whom you are sharing the house is just as bad.

If you are pregnant, I expect you to send and tell your boyfriend in the US that you have betrayed his trust and you are carrying another man's child. Don't allow someone else to tell him.

It will be your responsibility to do so. I am hoping that you are not pregnant and that you would use this time to end the relationship with the side man.

I expect you to go to the doctor. Find out for sure what the situation is. If you are pregnant, do not have an abortion. Face life and learn to do what is right.

By the way, if you are pregnant, I hope this man will not run away from you. However, I would not be surprised if he does.


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