He tricked me and got me pregnant


May 25, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column, and I see that you have helped lots of people. But my case is a little different from many people. I am 26 years old and I have a five-year-old daughter. Her father loves her and he loves me too, but I have never loved him. I have tried to, but I cannot love him.

I know this sounds crazy, but it is the truth. This man forced me to have sex with him when I was 20 years old. I told him I didn't want to get pregnant. Stupid me believed him. He said he would not discharge in me, and I believed him. I had my boyfriend, so I cheated.

When this man was ejaculating, I felt it and told him not to put it in me, but he deposited it in me and told me he couldn't help it. I knew I was in trouble. Nobody told me about the morning-after pill. And when I became aware that I was pregnant and told him, he laughed and told me he got me. I told him he didn't get me, and that he got a child, not me.

If I didn't cheat I would have been married to an outstanding gentleman who took my virginity when I was 18 and he was 22. We had sex since I have had my daughter, but we have stopped. It is my fault why we are not together.

I went to live with my child's father, but I only spent one month and went back to my parents' house. He is not a part of our family. Nobody, except one of my brothers, likes him. He has asked me to marry him, but I cannot.

My friends are concerned about me, but I am happy without a man. Many professional men are around, but I just lost out on the best. Then this man is making claims on me because we have a daughter together.

I am heading to America to study. A man there is interested in me. I don't know how far that will go.

Would you please tell me what to do to get my daughter's father out of my life?

My daughter is his only child, so he believes that we are meant to be one family.


Dear A.K.,

You say you are 26 years old. And if you don't want this man to be your husband, that will not be done. He can beg as much as he wants, you don't have to agree.

Couples who are not in love with each other should not get married to each other. Such relationships will not work. You made a mistake when you had unprotected sex with this man, but that is behind you.

Having a child with this man doesn't give him any right over you. You know that. And you know he will not make the type of husband you would wish to have. You shouldn't have gone to live with him even for that short period.

Allow the man to support his child, but remain single until you meet a man you truly love.

Your former boyfriend has moved on. Leave him alone.


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