Girlfriend got pregnant while I was in prison

Dear Pastor,

I am faced with a problem and I do not know what to do. I am in my early 30s and I was in prison for five years.

I have one child with my girlfriend. I left her in my mother’s house with my son. She was working. My mother lives abroad, so my girlfriend lives on one side of the house and my mother allowed her to rent out the other side to use the money to support my son. Only one room was kept vacant for my mother to stay in whenever she visited Jamaica. This is a beautiful three-bedroom house – two bedrooms and two bathrooms on the big side and one bedroom with a bathroom on the small side.

Whenever my mother was home, my girlfriend didn’t bring anybody to the house. But the tenant told my mother that different men slept with my girlfriend. She denied it. She used to visit me while I was in prison but her visits became fewer. I wondered why. When I heard that she had male visitors, I asked her if she had someone and she said no, she is waiting on my release so that we could build our lives together. My mother told me I should not put my heart on this girl. She was getting more than enough money to pay the mortgage but, when my mother checked, she was in arrears. She gave my mother foolish excuses about why she skipped a couple of payments.

When I was released from prison, my girlfriend was two months’ pregnant. The tenant, who is a law officer, impregnated her. I was embarrassed. My son told me the officer’s name and my girlfriend admitted that that was his name. I did not even realise that she was pregnant. The first day I got my freedom, I was eager to have sex with her. After I discharged, she told me “You should have worn a condom.” I asked her whether she was worried that I got her pregnant and she said no. Then, she broke the news to me about her pregnancy.

I came off the bed and sat on the floor. Then I asked her whether she was joking and she said no, she just found out. I asked her whether I knew the father and she said she got pregnant by the tenant. She did not mean to have sex with him but he forced her into it. I told her that she would have to leave and she said she didn’t have anywhere to go. She said the tenant is a good man who is always on time with his rent. But the tenant had his girlfriend living at the house, so I told her that means she has two men now at the house, but she only has one vagina. She said that the tenant’s girlfriend didn’t know that she was pregnant.

I am finding it difficult to deal with this problem. I do not want to remain with my girlfriend. I should not even call her my girlfriend; she is my child’s mother. I called my mother and told her what I found out and she said, while she was in Jamaica, she found the tenant to be a very friendly man who was very nice to her. He took her wherever she wanted to go. Good tenants are not very easy to find, but she understands why I am asking my child’s mother to leave.

Her stomach is now showing, and every day she asks me to give her time to find a place. I don’t talk to the tenant. You might not believe that I am so very angry inside. If I follow my mind, I will end up in prison again. Please give me your advice.

S.

Dear S.,

Your child’s mother is a very wicked woman. She is a grown woman, so what does she mean when she says that this government officer forced himself on her?

Sometimes a guy can ask a girl for sex and he may apply a little pressure. But I do not generally accept these women when they say that the men force themselves on them. She got involved with this man, made love to him, and he got her pregnant. She probably did so because he offered her money. I repeat, she is a wicked woman and you should constantly remind her that she has to find another place to live.

You, of course, would be faced with a challenge because you would need a mother for your son. Perhaps she can take her son with her if that is the only alternative. My goodness, how can you be in the same house with another man who was ‘grinding’ your woman? This is tough, but make sure you don’t do anything to get yourself into trouble.

Pastor