Letting go of sexual inhibitions
I have travelled all over Jamaica and other parts of the world to lecture on love, relationships, romance, and sexuality.
One of the universal similarities we all have in common are inhibitions. They are self-imposed restrictions on one's behaviour and they sometimes come from our subconscious mind and our spiritual and secular socialisation. Our mind is predisposed to the way we were raised, so it's not surprising that many people have inhibitions based upon negative influences, repression, and societal restraints on sexual behaviour.
For example, many women suffer from the 'good girl syndrome' because they were taught that only 'bad girls' will do a striptease for their spouses, masturbate for them, give oral, or even initiate sex when they want it. Women are often raised with shame and guilt about their bodies so they are inhibited about the size or shape of their breasts, the look and smell of their vagina, losing control during orgasm, and, of course, asking for what they want in bed.
Male inhibitions are different, but can be just as unhealthy. For example, many men were taught not to show their feelings because it's a sign of weakness. Men are inhibited about the size of their penis because they've been taught that size does matter. Some men think that a woman's vagina should smell like spring flowers or winter rain. Men hate asking for directions so why would they ever ask their lover what
pleases them? Apparently, a man should know what a woman wants, and so the list of inhibitions goes on.
It's no wonder so many couples are sexually frustrated. If you can't talk about what turns you on, then you can't expect your spouses to read your mind. After all, you wouldn't dream of not telling a waiter how you like your pork cooked because you don't want to ruin a good piece of meat. Then why would you risk the demise of a good relationship by not talking about what you want in bed?
The best solution that I've found for overcoming any inhibition is to simply face it. It is my belief that you will always have regrets if you don't overcome obstacles. A life with regrets is a life that has not fully been realised, experienced, and enjoyed. If you can shed your inhibitions with the one you love, you will find a much stronger connection in your relationship. On the same note, if you can shed your inhibitions with yourself, you will have the opportunity to discover and explore parts of you that you may never have known existed. So, let's begin by breaking down the walls.
Breaking down the walls
Becoming totally open and aware of your likes and dislikes is the first step to breaking down walls that may be standing in your way of experiencing complete intimate gratification. It can also help you to trust yourself and others on a level that maybe you have never imagined. When you know yourself and feel confident in what you expect of yourself and others, doors you may have never even known were there can open. Once new doors open, you then have more choices and the opportunity to expand your personal horizons.
More to come next week.