Pregnancy drama

by

February 25, 2016

Waaaaiiiieee!!! Waa gwaan TamFam??? Bless up unu self. Awright, ketch da mixup ya:

Hello Ragashanti,

My name is Tiffany (Pseudo name) age 30.

Last year end, I went city hopping. I really needed a break. I had recently ended my relationship (two months prior), had work issues, and just wanted a break from it all. So when my girlfriends invited me to their city, I resisted but eventually gave in. I travelled for over 600km. Anyways, there was a party happening the same night, which my friend informed me wasn't to be missed. She knew I was a bit depressed and wanted me to live a little and snap out of my over-conservative shell. Again, I was hesitant, feeling tired and just out of it, but she reassured me that it was an event not to be missed. Ragashanti, I always give much attention to details and the way I present myself. However, this night, I pulled out all the extra stuff. I was looking and feeling amazing! The perfect 10! Oh! I should mention that this party was at one of the military base, here, so I knew I would be seeing a lot of western men ... chocolate men ... and God knows I was missing some chocolate. Out here in this East Asian country I never see chocolate men.

Anyways, when I arrived at the party I was not disappointed. Right away, there was dark chocolate, coffee, caramel, vanilla, and milk. All tastes were present.

I was not even there for 10 minutes before the first guy came over. He was very attractive, but I had many options that night, so I wasn't in a hurry to fall for the first cup of dark chocolate. I got some drinks and was enjoying myself, when this tall (over 6 feet) caramel guy walked over. He whispered in my ear and said, "You are looking stunning."

I don't know how it happened but my hand went on his chest. I caught myself and tried to remove it, but then my hand slowly moved down his chest. OMG! The ripple effect my hand had from his chest. His name is John (pseudo name).

We were like a couple that night, though we had only met an hour or so prior. I went home with him and we had some very, very, very good sex. This was exactly what I wanted. We did it four times! (He is 29). I left the following night, smiling from ear to ear. A few days later, I went back for more. but the condom broke. We got a Plan B pill, which I took.

Fast-forward to the present. This is the problem. I missed my period, which has happened many times in the past, but this time I was feeling so sick - headaches, nauseous, bloated, my boobs just felt inflated. I soon realised that I was pregnant! I cannot face John again. This is just wrong on many levels. Just the circumstances surrounding our meeting makes me feel like I did something so wrong. My conscience keeps reminding me of my irresponsible behaviour.

Now, should I keep this baby, or should I end it? I honestly don't know what to do. #confused and feeling very irresponsible

First, don't be hard on yourself. You are a grown woman and it is totally your prerogative if you meet someone and choose to go home and have sex with that person. Additionally, you used a condom (that unfortunately broke) and you took a Plan B pill. In short, you took the appropriate, responsible steps to prevent pregnancy. You therefore should not focus on the incorrect conclusion that you were awful in your behaviour.

Next, it would be inappropriate for me to tell you what to do with your pregnancy, that's YOUR call. However, I will suggest that you do make the father aware of the pregnancy. Yes, you can, and should, face "John" again. Don't assume he'll automatically be negative when informed. He may well be responsible about it and step up like a real man. Additionally, informing him would not only be the ethically correct thing to do, but it would also be in the best interest of the child.

I wish you all the best in your decision. Nuff blessings.

Awrigh, peeps! A leggomentz ya now. Link mi same way wid unu mix-up dem at ragashanti@ragashanti.com. Road!!

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