Not fond of beef, especially manufactured beef

April 06, 2016
Miss Kitty
Yanique the Curvy Diva.

How you and the beef? Me, I'm not fond of beef. No iyah, when I'm not failing at being an occasional vegetarian, I actually prefer mutton or lamb.

But in the rare instances when I have beef, I want to consume the real thing from a real cow - nothing too curvy or fluffy either! And no manufactured beef round here!

Yeah man, beef is the in thing these days. I don't know when it really started, but I know that 'beef' is the current term being used to refer to conflicts, feuds or rivalries which play out publicly especially between supposed celebrities.

And apparently you're not fully established as a real-real entertainment personality nowadays until you have beef with another artiste. So I'm thinking now that maybe I should buss mi career, give my ratings a boost and turn up mi fame and fortune by dropping some beef between me and Ity and Fancy Cat. Wah unuh say? On second thought, that would not work, because whether it's real or imagined, Fancy Cat would probably eat it off all the beef while Ity is still busy blessing it!


almost exploded


Of course, from the minute I mention beef, anybody who's in tune with current happenings in Jamaica will know that I'm referring to the most recent manifestation of beef - the embarrassing tin of bully beef - that all but almost exploded live on TV in Jamaica last weekend. You never hear about it? As one online news source puts it, you would have to be living under a rock over the past weekend to not have heard about the rivalry between two popular Jamaican media personalities who both carry a two-word moniker that comprises a physique-glorifying-adjective and the word 'Diva'.




Both divas have prominent and visible roles in a televised talent competition. One is the host and the other is a judge. Apparently, there had been rumours and whispers about a simmering pot of beef stewing between the two ladies.

And during the live show last weekend, one diva - the judge - sought to use her air time on the show the 'clear the air' about what she called the 'manufactured beef' between her and the other diva. It is fair to say, though, that she succeeded more in clouding the air.

In my opinion, she used the slot designated for her to give a commentary on the talents on display to pour fuel on the flames that was cooking the beef. She actually force-fed the beef to a wider audience and now everybody is nyamming! How about you?

Some people have cynically suggested that the inappropriate televised face-off, which pretended not to be a disguised trace off, might have been a planned ploy to create controversy in an effort to increase viewership and boost ratings for the show. Others may describe that such a suggestion as disingenuous. What say you?

Each diva is on record making statements which include references to herself in the context of that often nebulous term 'role model'. Role model eh? So what role options are being modelled here peeps? What messages are being transmitted to little girls like my granddaughter? If I were to suggest that the very titles these divas have chosen contribute to selling the idea that a woman has to focus on and project her 'fluff' or her 'curves' as a way if validating her personhood would you say I'm being duplicitous? And would you start beef with me about it?

The best word on beef I've heard is from one of my favourite Jamaican philosopher Tanya Stephens, who in her advice to Ikaya, another young woman in the business, says, 'we a no butcher. We don't do beef, we do music'. Same so Tanya, same so!

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