Vaginas deserve more respect


June 21, 2016

You would have had be on another planet to not have heard about the horrific shooting of the gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, and the reports and opinions that were expressed since. Of course, most persons are horrified that an individual could commit such a heinous act, while others are not as disturbed because they see the shooting as a justified act that is only punishment for the lifestyle that these individuals chose. Wherever you stand on the sexuality, the fact is 49 persons losing their lives the way they did is never a good thing.

Listening to the varied opinions on the Orlando shooting made me pause to take a look at the way heterosexual men think about, treat, and even talk about the vagina. Based on Shabba Ranks' hit one would think that these men love the vagina, but do they really? Let's look at the evidence:

1. When men want to insult each other, the worse possible thing they can compare another man to or call him is a p..... But how can something you love be an insult? Let's use another word in its place as an experiment, for example money. "Gweh bwoy, yuh a money!" See it doesn't work quite the same way, does it?

2. It's always very violent when men refer to how they plan to pleasure the vagina. They say things like: stab it out; kill a gal; dig out har hole; skin out di red; and beat it up.

3. When describing this thing they claim they love, they use words like: renking meat; saltfish; and fishy.

None of these words are complimentary. Furthermore, if the vagina smells fishy then the woman should definitely consult her medical professional.

4. The thought of washing female underwear is a threat to your manhood. Even just handling them at all, like taking them off the line after they have been washed, is a seen as a weakness. How does that make sense? You love the area so much, but handling the garment that touches it directly makes you less than a man? Really?

5. For a large number of these men, simply mentioning oral sex to them sends them into violent anger. So much so that the women in their lives are afraid to hint that they are interested in him performing oral sex on her.

6. Jamaican expletives are named from items that touch the vagina. The various 'cloths' are colloquialisms for the pads ladies used in the past when they were menstruating.

7. Some men are so repulsed by menstruation that they consider their woman unclean and demand that she stays away from him during her period. In some homes, women have a separate room that she occupies while she's menstruating.

I concede that a big part of why men respond to the female genitalia the way they do is a function of culture and socialisation. However, living in a modern world as we do, it is expected that these men upgrade their knowledge and be more open to understanding the wonder and beauty that is the female reproductive system. For example, it is the only self-cleaning, self-renewing organ on the human body. It is the place where life is created and it deserves to be respected. So gentlemen, get to know the vagina and treat her the way she deserves to be treated.


Dear Dr Sexy-Ann,

I want a threesome, but my boyfriend is not having it. The only way he will think about it is if it is me, him and another woman. But I want another man. What can I do?


Dear Brenda,

Threesomes are tricky because if you are not solid a couple, then it may not be a good idea. Already you are experiencing conflict as to the make up of the threesome, so it will only escalate if you choose to go forward without solving this issue first. Perhaps what you should do is find ways that you can be adventurous as a couple before you consider adding a third party.

Good luck,

Dr Sexy-Ann

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