Reconnect with friends and family

December 14, 2016


Have you ever been in a situation where you have to completely avoid talking to some people with whom you would normally speak?

When I was younger, we used to sometimes call it 'keeping malice'. And although there is definitely no malice in my heart towards them, I occasionally find myself in that situation where, in the interest of avoiding a quarrel, I have to resort to withholding words from some people. Yeah, it's not nice; but mi nah lie, I often do it. You nuh do it to?

Some people just hard to talk to yah man. There are some people around who seem to actually enjoy engaging in a loud quarrel and are unable to just have a quiet talk. I know plenty of them. How about you? Yeah man, you must know even one or two - dem people deh who somehow appear to always complain and cuss rather than have a conversation. They prefer ranting instead of reasoning. So, sometimes we have to simply keep them at a safe distance.


Aggressive persons


Yeah peeps, more time we have to do as American writer Max Ehrmann suggested in his widely quoted piece Desiderata - in that section that says 'avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit'. It's often painfully necessary, yes But I don't know about you, me nuh really like it. And I'm not very good at it either.

Whether you call it 'keeping malice' or you describe it as 'we're not on speaking terms', I find it a very tense, uncomfortable and difficult situation to have to see somebody I know fairly well, and can't even say howdy, especially when it involves close neighbours, co-workers, friends or family members. It just feels weird. I'm a people person by nature, so even if I share angry words with somebody, or if a person does me wrong, I quickly forgive and try forget it. I will, therefore, try to reconnect. But me easy fi shame. And nobody wants to feel like they're begging friendship, so after I try one or two hello, if I get ignored or rejected, I just shrink back inna myself gwaan hold my corner. You wrong me?

The end-of-year Christmas season is a great time to try and mend fences and repair breaches though. So, I'm going to again attempt to end all stand-offs, move miles away from all malice and try to make peace and re-establish relationships where possible. I encourage you to try it too. Of course, the challenge is how to do it without completely capitulating. That is the hard part. How do you reconcile without giving up your sense of esteem or compromising your own standards? After all, Desiderata also encourages us to 'without surrender, be on good terms with all persons'.


Temporary ban


Oh, and before I close, I just have to say something about the current panic about plastic rice. Yeah, I just want to share a few simple words, especially to the folks who are reportedly now in jitters about the potential of a shortage of rice for the holiday because of the temporary ban on importing that item. And here are my few little words: Irish potato, sweet potato, green banana, cassava, yellow yam, mozella yam, soft yam, and pumpkin. Also, dumpling, dumpling and dumpling! Flour dumpling, banana dumpling, cornmeal dumpling, and of course the good old turn cornmeal. Look yah nuh man, is long time me and rice a keep malice. And now it is even more serious. A weh poisonous, plastic imported rice a go? My good people, we need fi grow what we eat and eat what we grow! Yuh agree wid mi?

Other Commentary Stories