Fake from top to bottom

March 29, 2017
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Life is funny, nuh true? There was a time long gone when any mention of Brazil in our local media or in any casual conversation among our people, it would very likely be connected to news about the exploits of the country’s famous fleet-footed football stars, or probably a story related to revelry at their renowned Rio carnival. 

And occasionally, one might also hear mutterings about the ‘Brazilian wax’ treatment for the removal of body hair. Things change though.

In recent times, Brazilian stuff getting more and more mention a yard. This was due mainly to the fact that products from that populous South American nation has become one of the most expensive and sought-after items, especially among the ladies who are proud wearers of HBO – ‘hair belonging to others’.

Yeah, there are several sisters around who we can wish ‘happy new hair’ every month or so, as they happily flash the costly tresses they wear which is imported-from-Brazil. 

Mentions of Brazil increased and got loud and contentious in recent weeks as well, because of controversy surrounding a ban imposed by Jamaican authorities on the importation of canned corn beef from that country.

Then braps, things Brazilian is big in the news again this week, with a story I saw on THE STAR front page on Monday about Jamaican women flocking a particular doctor to surgically get their buttocks enlarged.

Yes peeps looking good is painfully expensive. So in a country with maximum poverty and a meagre minimum wage, my sisters are spending seriously strong dollars to enhance the size of their gluteus maximus!

And this is real story, not fake news. Is plenty of them doing it.

The doctor who does the procedure is quoted as saying "There is not a day that I don't get a request here. I would say my office does at least one [butt lift] per week, and sometimes up to three.” 

And, according to the report, the surgery costs roughly US$6,000. So in other words, approximately one to three persons per week are risking potential health complications just so they can sit down on about three-quarter million Jamaican dollars’ worth of false bottom. 

Yeah folks, my sisters flash false hair, wave false nails, and smile sweetly with false teeth. They blink with fake eyelashes and raise chests with fake breasts and now dem swinging false buttocks.

But when it comes to a partner, dem want a real man!


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