Did the #MeTooMovement kill flirting?
Over the last few weeks, I've been watching the nomination process of Judge Brett Kavanaugh, the subsequent sexual-assault accusation by Dr Christine Blasey Ford, and the hearing that followed.
It was just very disturbing to watch the same men who impeached President Bill Clinton for a consensual relationship defend a man who is accused of sexually assaulting a young girl while he was in high school.
I think that something happened, and while all the details can be debated, I think there was an incident and that Judge Kavanaugh should not have been admitted to the Supreme Court without a proper investigation.
What concerns me is the idea that so many men who I speak to keep
talking about the existence of the #MeToo movement as an obstacle to courtship and flirtation.
This worries me because I don't think one has anything to do with the other. Sexual assault, harassment and rape are all about the absence of consent.
Not being able to freely and openly act sexually inappropriately does not mean that you can't be flirtatious.
What it means is that men have to be more respectful of women's wishes regardless of how inconvenient he considers them.
I am so tired of men waiting for women to solve this entire issue because we are the ones who are suffering. The truth is, no amount of women marching or calling out sexual-assault perpetrators will stop the behaviour without the input of responsible men.
So men, where are you? What are you waiting for to speak out against the men who are making you look bad? Why do you stay silent when you see your friend grab a woman without her permission, even though you think it is wrong?
Why do you laugh when you hear your friend tell that disrespectful joke about a woman that you know?
At the end of the day, we have a problem in our culture that allows some bad behaviour from our men, and we must address it, but it's a problem that all of us have to participate in fixing.
So flirt with each other, enjoy the game of courtship. Just remember that once consent is absent, all games are off. Have fun, and stay sexy.
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