Jamaican women are in danger
'Break-up reportedly behind murder/suicide in St Andrew on Friday', 'Dispute between man and girlfriend ends in murder-suicide' and 'Murder/suicide in St James' are just a few of the headlines that have graced the media since February 2019. All of these headlines have one thing in common - a man killing or attempting to kill the woman he is supposed to love, and then killing or attempting to kill himself. Let's just think about that for a minute.
I am honestly tired of hearing all the plans or lack of plans that our political leaders have to deal with crime, because, in my opinion, none of these plans specifically address the clear and immediate danger that women are in. As a Jamaican woman, I move through my day with perpetual fear. What am I afraid of? I am terrified of the insecure man. Let's call him Mr Insecure. The number of cases of women losing their lives at the hands of Mr Insecure is just unacceptable, and it is time for all of us, including the well-thinking, smart, responsible men, to step up and do something about this plague on our society.
Who is this Mr Insecure, you might ask? He is the man who feels that he must always be in control of everything and everyone, especially the woman he claims to love. He wants to control where she goes, who she talks to, what she gets to do; and his rules are the only ones that matter. He raises his voice, he does not take no for an answer, and he feels that his word is law.
Many of us attribute the behaviour of Mr Insecure to the way boys are raised, and there are some valid points to that argument. But before we get to fixing the next generation, I really think we must start with the adult men who we currently have to deal with. So I want to call on the help and support of the decent, responsible men - you know, the men who are in charge of their emotions and have the ability to express them. These are the men who are just working hard to take care of their family and somehow manage to do that while still being respectful to the women in their lives.
Sir, I need your help.
Please reach out to Mr Insecure. Help him develop character, respect and self-esteem so that he can appreciate that women are not his property. Please don't just be friends with him, help him to be a better person. I ask on behalf every woman who goes through her day like me - in perpetual fear.
And to you, Mr Insecure, you don't have to be that way all your life. You can change. Find ways to feel more confident in yourself and to find purpose in your life. Try doing some volunteer work. Being in service of others might help you be a better man.
And ladies, please stop ignoring the warning signs when you meet Mr Insecure. When he shows you who he is, believe him. Don't try to change the things you don't like about him, just follow the rhythm and tek weh yuhself!