‘The trauma robbed me’ Abuse survivor urges women to seek help

The 32-year-old woman whose shocking story of alleged childhood sexual abuse sparked widespread outrage is now using her painful experience to encourage other survivors to speak up, seek therapy and begin healing.

After revealing that her mother allegedly knew she was being sexually abused by her stepfather and gave her birth-control pills instead of protecting her, Anne* said sharing her story has pushed her to restart therapy and confront memories she had worked hard to suppress.

“Since talking about it I have restarted my therapy because you know, every now and again, when I remember the physical parts of it.”

Her decision to speak publicly also opened the door for countless others to share their own experiences.

The woman said she posted a video on social media and was overwhelmed by the response from women who reached out to tell their stories of childhood trauma.

She was equally struck by the reaction after THE STAR published her account.

Reading the comments, she said, became an emotional experience as person after person revealed they had endured similar abuse. For the survivor, the outpouring served as a reminder of how far she has come.

“Even though it still affects me, I don’t cry while talking about it anymore. The way it used to affect me, I would be on the road and I would start remembering about it. Even coming home in a taxi and just start crying and I couldn’t stop it.”

For years, she carried the burden alone.

Now, after keeping her trauma secret for more than a decade, she is urging others to find the courage to let it out.

“Speak up, pray or seek therapy,” she said.

According to psychiatrist Dr Brian Kazaara of Bellevue Hospital, therapy can play a critical role in helping survivors process traumatic experiences.

“Therapy is important because it provides a safe space where persons can speak freely which can allow them to process trauma.”

Dr Kazaara explained that unresolved trauma can affect many aspects of a person’s life long after the abuse has ended.

“When trauma is not processed, it can affect our decisions and relationships. Processing trauma helps us to make better decision and foster better relationships and helps us to navigate life in a more productive way.”

He added that while people often develop coping mechanisms to deal with difficult experiences, therapy can help replace unhealthy responses with healthier ones.

“In therapy, people can learn how to deal with stresses of life in an unhealthy way so they don’t do unnecessary damage to themselves and others,” he said.

While recovery looks different for every survivor, Dr Kazaara said there is strong evidence that healing is possible with the right support and intervention.

“Persons who experience childhood trauma are at increased risk of mental health conditions and, when you engage in therapy, it helps to reduce the risk of conditions like anxiety, depression and PTSD,” he said.

He noted that, even when mental health conditions have already developed, therapy can significantly improve symptoms and support long-term recovery.

Even so, Anne believes that professional support can play a critical role in recovery, healing is not a one-size-fits-all process, and that each survivor must navigate the journey at their own pace. She says that, in addition to professional help, faith can also play an important role in the healing process.

“The first thing they need to do is to start praying and fasting,” she said.

* Name changed to protect identity.