Our landlady believed we were brother and sister


March 07, 2016

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 24 years old. We are living together but my landlady thought that we were brother and sister. We couldn't get anywhere to live and my mother told me that it was time for me to go on my own because she wanted to live with her boyfriend and she knew that I didn't like him. I don't like him because I saw him abusing my mother. He beat her right before me and my younger sister and brother, and when I tried to part them he threatened to beat me, too. My mother did not leave him; neither did she report him to the police. She told me that I would have to leave. My boyfriend's mother allowed me to sleep at their house for two nights, then we started to look for a place to live on our own. We found a place and we told the landlady that we were brother and sister. My boyfriend always called me 'sister', so the landlady believed. She always say how she admires us, how we are loving.

My mother found out where we are living and came by to drop off something that somebody gave her to give me and she saw the landlady at the front. My mother does not have my phone number. We live in a backroom and she questioned the landlady and the landlady told her that I am living with my brother at the back. The landlady was disappointed to know that we lied to her. We had to explain to her everything. She is not pleased. I hate my mother even more because I had to tell the landlady the circumstances why I had to leave home. She told us that the only way we can continue to live there is if we get married. But we are not ready to get married. So please for your advice.


Dear T.A,

Your mother is making life very difficult for you. She asked you to leave her house because she wanted to live with her abusive man. Now that you have been living with your man, she is making it difficult for you again. Of course, she did not know that you lied to the landlady. So one may say that she should not be blamed. Some homeowners do not like to rent their homes to persons who are not married but are living in concubinage. However, you are only 19 years old and you are not ready for marriage. I suggest that your boyfriend and you sit with this woman again and reason with her. I am sure she would understand your predicament. However, she might not trust both of you again, but may allow you both to continue to live together. Please understand that I am not endorsing the type of life that this man and you are living. But I wouldn't want this woman to give you notice to leave earlier than you planned.


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