Grandma kicked out cheating grandpa

Dear Pastor,

I need your advice. I recently graduated from high school and I am at home waiting to get a call to go and live in America.

My mother and two sisters are living there. I am living with my grandmother. I love her with my whole heart. My grandfather was also here with us, but he got mixed up with a young woman, who says that he got her pregnant. My grandfather says that is not true. He admitted that he had an affair with her, but denied getting her pregnant. My grandmother asked him if he used a condom and he said no, but he knows that she is not pregnant for him.

My grandmother told me that she stopped having sex with him, so he is living with one of our cousins. My mother and my siblings spoke to grandmother and told her to allow grandpa to come back home, but he said it is my grandmother who had to tell him to come back. He also said she should apologise to him because she packed his things and put them in the living room and called him a dog.

He told her that he was sorry that he got mixed up with the girl, so he is still very angry. Every Sunday I take dinner for my grandfather. I can see that my grandmother wants him back. I asked her why she is not calling him and she told me that she is not begging him to come back.

I have a little problem of my own. I thought I would have left Jamaica already, but I am still here. I have a boyfriend who is 26. He told me that I should apply to colleges here because I do not know when my papers will come through. My mother is always warning me not to get pregnant.

My boyfriend and I have sex but we use protection. I had sex for the first time at 16 with my boyfriend. He said he wants us to get married when I am 20. I don’t see that happening. I do not want to have a child or to get pregnant when the embassy calls me.

My boyfriend is always saying that he believes that I am going to find another man when I leave Jamaica. There are times when he discourages me from planning to go to America. He treats me well, but I would like him to get a better job. He drives for a politician. When I become a professional, I would like my husband to be a professional too. I hope I am making sense to you.

R.

Dear R.,

Firstly, I hope that your grandparents will try to put away their bitterness and get back together.

Your grandfather admitted that he cheated on your grandmother and she is angry. I am assuming that the house is hers or it belongs to her people. So she believes that she has all authority to put out your grandfather. It is also unfortunate that she called your grandfather a dog. Now they are separated.

I would like you to know that your grandmother still loves your grandfather. That is why she sends him dinner every Sunday. He is not there with her, but she would not want him to be without Sunday dinner. I am glad that you faithfully take the dinner to him. I am sure that he is always happy to see you. Your grandfather is demanding an apology from your grandma. She should apologise to him. He has already admitted that what he did was wrong. How can your grandpa know for sure that the child is not his? You are 18 and you are old enough to suggest to him that a paternity test be done on this child. Your mother and others should also tell him that he needs to get a test done. It may bring an end to the issue if the test shows that he is not the father.

Concerning your situation, I beg of you to be very careful. You are an ambitious person. You are waiting on a call to go to the US. I will not discourage you. The opportunities for education in the US are vast, so don’t allow your boyfriend to discourage you. At the same time, get yourself a job or apply to a college out here. Do not sit and waste your time.

I wish you well. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor