He proposed to my friend after I rejected him

Dear Pastor,

When I was 15 years old, I met a man at a beach. My friends paid for me to go with them on the excursion.

My father did not want me to go, but our neighbours told him that they were going and they were taking their daughter with them, so I would be safe. I was excited because I had never gone to the beach. Neither me nor my friend could swim, so we did not go out far into the water. Some of the guys who travelled in the bus tried to get my friend and I to go into the deep water and they even tried to encourage us to let them teach us to swim. But I was not interested.

There was this guy who is Jamaican, but living in America who told me that he loved me. I told him I was not interested in him because I was sure that he has a girlfriend. He said he did not. To prevent him from harassing me, I told him that I had a boyfriend, even though I did not. Before we got back to Kingston, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. He called me that night and told me that he would like us to meet because he was leaving Jamaica in three days.

I told my girlfriend that the guy called me and wanted to meet with me, so I wanted her to accompany me. We met in Half-Way Tree in the park. After chatting for a long while, the three of us walked up to Devon House for ice cream. He asked me whether I was afraid of him and I told him no, so he asked me why I brought my friend. I told him she was my neighbour. He said he was hoping to get to know me better before flying out. I asked him how he wanted to know me better and he said I was pretending to be innocent, but I knew what he meant. I told him I was not interested in getting to know him that way.

My neighbour saw a couple of girls who she knew, so she told me that she would soon return. This guy asked me for sex. I told him that he was crazy. My friend returned; she said we should leave, so we did. After the guy returned to America, he didn’t stop calling me, so I blocked him.

This guy told my neighbour in a text that since I did not show any interest in him, he would like to propose to her because he likes her too. These guys are just looking for flesh wherever they can find it, and they are not very serious about having good girls. I did not make him use me. He went to America and took up the American style. My girlfriend told him she was not interested in him either, so we have not heard from him again.

R.

Dear R.,

You are a wise girl. It is not every man who tells you that he is interested in you that you should believe.

A girl does not have to insult a man even if she is not interested in having a relationship with him. This man was moving too fast and perhaps he was lying about himself. You knew what he meant when he said he wanted to get to know you. I am glad your friend went with you when he wanted to see you again.

It is said that good men are hard to find, but women should not throw themselves around. They should trust in God to provide good men.

Pastor