My boyfriend has no regards for my feelings


March 08, 2016

Dear Pastor,

My boyfriend broke up with me because he does not want me to ask him about where he is or where he is going. We have been together for two years and five months. He worked the entire day on election day so I didn't call him, as I knew he would be busy. I called him the night after the election but received no answer from him the whole night or the next morning. He finally rang my phone and told me to call him back, so I did.

I was worried about him so I asked him what time he finished working the night before. His response was, "You didn't watch the election last night? You didn't see what time they declared who won?" I told him I was simply trying to find out what time he had finished working as I had tried calling him but couldn't reach him. His response was, "Mi see you did a call off mi phone."

I was surprised by his response because I didn't expect him to talk to me like that. I told him that I would not call his phone again, but I did so a few minutes after hanging up. I asked him why he was treating me that way because I had not done anything to deserve that kind of treatment from him. He told me that I took him for an idiot and that he could not have a life because of me.

The issue with him is that if he is going somewhere, he would just get up and go, saying he was going to do "so and so", or "go on the road" or "go out with his girlfriend". I would always tell him not to say that because I don't like it. If he is going somewhere and it's innocent, I wouldn't believe him because of the things he says or how he reacts when I ask him to tell me exactly where he is going or with whom.

He has few female friends and I have no problem with him seeing or talking to them. Even if I'm around him and he's on the phone for hours, I wouldn't make a big deal of it because he told me about them and he doesn't hide me from them. But there are other females that call him when I'm there and he doesn't answer their calls, or, if he does, he would tell them that he would ring them back. They would call him late into the night and early into the morning. He has no regard for my feelings. He has even had these women sleep at his house, yet he tells me that they are just doing school- work. He never tells me when they are there, I have to hear it from elsewhere. I think he is involved with a particular woman and wants me out of the picture. His action says so. Also, he is always accusing me of being involved with any guy I talk to and doesn't want me to talk to anyone about it. He doesn't want us to sit with a third party and try to fix the problem. Pastor, I'm not perfect. I'm young and he's older than I am, and he is always using that as an excuse. I want a committed relationship and because I love him, I am trying. I'm hurting now and I don't know what to do.


Dear K.B.,

I am going to tell you what to do and I hope that you would follow my suggestion. End the relationship with this man forthwith. This man takes you for a fool. He has many other girls. He tries to give you the impression that you are number one in his life, but he is lying. You are only frustrating yourself by continuing to consider him as your intimate boyfriend. Stop wasting your time. Stop going to his home. He will never marry you. He wants you out of his life. Drop him before he drops you.


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