I hate my father's woman


March 09, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I hope all is well with you. I am 19. I am embarrassed by what I did. I live with my father. He had a woman living with him, but they were not getting along so she left him.

My father has another girlfriend who comes to the house. Whenever she comes, she is always finding a fault with something. She quarrels and says I am not cleaning my room.

I know that she wants to come and live at the house. My father does not want her to live with him.

Pastor, one day my father told me he was not coming home for the weekend. I invited my girlfriend to be with me. It was not late, it was about 9 p.m.

I was having sex with my girlfriend. I heard a knock on the door. When I asked who it was, she answered. We put on our clothes. She kept knocking. When I answered the door, she asked my girlfriend what she was doing here. She told me she was going to tell my father that I had brought a woman into his house.

She told my father, but he did not ask me anything. She told him she caught me having sex, but that was not true. She could not have seen us from outside. We put on our clothes before I let her in.

This woman started behaving in a way that caused me to hate her more. She was talking loud for the neighbours to hear that I had a girl in my father's house.

When she told my girlfriend she should not return here, I told her she should not come back either because it was not her place and my girlfriend was not her daughter.

My girlfriend is 18. She is not underage. I don't know why my father had not told her not to come to the house that weekend.

When I was 16 my father gave me a pack of condoms and told me I was going to need them. I don't have to tell my father that I brought my girlfriend to the house because he knows I am having sex.


Dear S.E.

Your father gave you a pack of condom when you were 16 and told you that you were going to need them. I guess that was his way of telling you to be careful, not to have unprotected sex. Your father has a woman coming to the house. Evidently, he did not expect her to visit him that weekend, but she expected him to be there so her intention was to give him a surprise visit.

You invited your girlfriend because you felt you were going to be alone that night. So you were shocked when the woman showed up.

This woman behaved as if she had authority. She sees you as a boy and does not believe you should have a woman in your father's house.

You do not believe she has the right to tell your girlfriend she should not be at the house.

This woman was a visitor just as your girlfriend was.

I know you were embarrassed because of the way your father's woman spoke to you and your girlfriend.

Your father has not made an issue of it. Evidently, he doesn't consider it a surprise or a big deal.

I hope you will not lose respect for your father's woman. Although your father has not raised the matter with you, I suggest, out of respect, you should discuss what happened with him.


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