I am the same age as my man's daughter


March 11, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am living with a man. We did not start out as boyfriend and girlfriend; he was only helping out a situation because I had to leave my home. My father put me out because, according to him, I was rude to his woman. Everything this woman told him about me, he believed. She doesn't like me. My father told me that if I can't respect her, then I had to go.

She doesn't have any respect for him because I know that she was keeping a man with him and I wasn't lying on her.

She said I was lying on her and promised to poison me. My father and I had a big argument another time and he took up his cutlass and told me to get out of his house. I left and I didn't know what to do. I was walking up and down the street and then I remembered this man. I went to see him and asked him if he could put me up. He said no at first because he knows my father, and he did not want to have any fuss with my father.


After I walked away, he called me back and told me to go for my bag. I went back to the house for my things and he told me that I could stay in his daughter's room because she was in college.

He called his woman who was living elsewhere and told her the problem that I was having and that he took me in. She was against it and told him to get rid of me. He told her that he could not do that.

She came home for the weekend and I could see that she was not pleased to share the room with me. So after she left, he told me that he likes me and I can move into his room if I agree for both of us to have a relationship. I agreed because he was taking good care of me.

His woman came up to Kingston and began to make fuss. He told her that he is finished with her. He told me that he told her not to come, but she insisted to see who is this girl who took him over.

My problem now, Pastor, is that people are telling him that I am too young for him.

His daughter and I are getting along well now. I love this man. My father told me that he is sorry that he put me out and he now realises that his woman was lying on me.

Do you think that he is too old for me?


Dear R.F.,

I can see that you have fallen in love with this man. I am not at all willing to condemn him or you. This man rescued you from the street, so to speak. He didn't give the impression that he was seeking a woman. He told you that he has his woman friend who visits him and that she stays with him from time to time. He told you about his daughter and he allowed you to stay in her room.

He appeared to you to be an honourable man. However, I am not surprised that the relationship developed into a love affair. After all, he was treating you well and you were treating him well and the flesh got in the way. He didn't force you to be intimate with him, he asked you. He told you how he felt about you and the feelings were mutual. I know how you feel about the age difference. One can ask what age has to do with it. I am not at all surprised that people would condemn the both of you. They don't know about the circumstances. I don't know how far that this relationship is going to go. Now that his daughter has gotten to know you well, she is not against the relationship at all.

I hope that you will be true to this man. I hope that you will not have him as your boyfriend and then get involved with a younger man on the side. I warn you, don't get mixed up with a younger fellow. If you have that in mind, you should leave this man's house.

I am glad that the relationship between your father and yourself has improved. Forgive him for the treatment towards you. Love him as a father and make sure you keep in touch with him always. Ignore what people say about you. You are 18 years old. Please try and go back to school and get yourself a skill or some type of career; you are going to need it.


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