I found a vibrator in my woman's drawers

by

March 12, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 42 years old and I am having problems. I am living with my girlfriend. She is 34 years old. One day I was at work and got a call that she was ill and was admitted to the hospital. I rushed to the hospital and after seeing the situation, I went home to get some clothes and other things that she would need.

As I went into her dresser, I saw something that I did not know my girlfriend was using. When I saw it, I was shocked. It was the first time I was going into her dresser drawers. She goes through my things because she takes care of my clothes and packs them away, but I don't go through her personal belongings.

My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. She told me that she is happy with me. I know I am happy with her. Why would she buy herself a vibrator and secretly use it?

I took the things to her in the hospital, but I mentioned to my sister what I saw and she told me it was not my business what my girlfriend uses. She said I was too "fass", but I was not "fass". I was just looking for certain things to take to the hospital to give her.

When she felt much better, I told her that I met her man. She asked me which man. So I told her the other man that she had in her life. She said she didn't understand, so I explained and she stared at me.

Don't you think this woman would cheat? I asked her about our sex life and she said it was alright, but she cannot tell me why she is using a vibrator. Please, Pastor, give me your advice.

N.P.

Dear N.P,

This woman has secretly used her vibrator. The truth is, she loves it and she is probably addicted to it. What you need to face up to is that you will never be able to create the kind of sensation that a vibrator can cause.

In fact, that is one of the reasons why some counsellors do not encourage women to use vibrators or dildos.

Not all sex toys folks should use. But it is not for me to condemn anybody. Discuss the issue with your girlfriend.

Perhaps at times she feels the need for more sex when you are not around. Some girls say that their vibrator doesn't cheat. And it is always available.

Even some Christian girls use the vibrator. They claim it keeps them out of trouble. I am not here advocating its use or condemning anyone who uses it. I cannot tell you to leave this woman, but I encourage you to meet with a counsellor and address this matter.

Pastor

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