My husband is having an affair with another girl


March 17, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am living in Jamaica, but my husband is from Canada. I met him while I was studying in Canada, I do not like the cold, so I have not agreed to live in Canada. I am going through trials. My husband loves dark-skin girls.

We have our home in Canada. On a visit to Canada, I found out that my husband is having an affair with another girl. At first he denied it, but I have proof that he is seeing another woman; I even found hair on the carpet. I asked him how it got there and he was stuttering saying his friend stayed there. I asked him why he did not inform me that they were going to be there? He said he can't inform me about everything. I have never searched his phone and I decided that I would. I saw text messages that were suggestive, so I know my husband is having an affair and it could be with more than one woman. I saw numbers in the phone, but my husband threatened me so I'm afraid to call these numbers.

I love this man, but I'm wondering: Should I make up my mind to go back to Canada and live in the cold to save my marriage? He will not leave his job and live in Jamaica because the salary would be too low. What should I do, Pastor?


Dear C.T.,

Your husband and you should be living together, so you should seriously consider giving up Jamaica and go to Canada to live with him. I am not condoning what you alleged that he is doing but, evidently, he finds it difficult to be living alone. At times, he wants female company. Long-distance relationships are very troubling.

Having said the above, I know that you find it very difficult to deal with the cold weather. But perhaps you will have to make up your mind. A lot of people who live in North America find it difficult to deal with the cold weather, but they adjust to it and they dress appropriately.

Your husband is afraid to admit that he might be cheating. Don't call the numbers you saw in his phone. It will not enhance the relationship. When you are together, discuss the possibility of seeing a family counsellor, and learn to strengthen your relationship.


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