No sex for Lent


March 18, 2016

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I are religious people. I made a pledge not to have sex during Lent. The first night I made the pledge my husband forced me into having sex. He was trying to take off my underwear. I bit him. He slapped me and tore up my underwear.

I did not want him to hurt me so I yielded. He said the next time I decide not to give him, he will go elsewhere.

My husband and I have a good relationship. I just feel we can do without sex for a while. We have sex about three times per week, sometimes more often.

Do you believe my husband should force me to have sex when I don't want to?


Dear V.R.,

Please do not spoil the relationship you have with your husband. Too bad that when you refused to have sex with your husband he was so angry that he tore up your underwear.

In the Book of First Corinthians, Paul addresses this topic. He writes, "The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except, perhaps, by mutual consent, and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control". 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NIV)

If both of you had mutually agreed not to have sex during lent, you would not be fighting over this matter. He has already warned you that he will go elsewhere to satisfy his sexual needs, so try not to allow that to happen. Give him what he needs and keep him at home.


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