Husband lied on me, gave me an STI


March 22, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am having some problems and hope that you can help me. I am 40 years old. My husband and I have one child together. My husband is a womaniser. He gave me a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and told my relatives that I was the one who gave it to him. He is a liar. During our marriage, I never once looked at another man. I was satisfied with what I got from him. Sometimes the sex was good and sometimes it was not very good. I tried to please him in every way I could.

When I remember that this man came from the ghetto and how my mother was against our marriage, I have to curse and tell him some harsh things. This man took my virginity when I was only 18 and a half years old, and he did it in the back of a taxi cab that he used to drive. It was not his taxi, but my father asked him to take me home after school every day. Sometimes when I wanted to go out with my friends and enjoy myself, he would take me and pick me up when I was ready. He would make excuses for me to my parents, but it was all lies. My parents would never believe that this guy and I were lovers.

My father gave me enough lunch money, but I wanted more money to spend with my friends, so he would always give me part of the money he should give to the owner of the taxi so that I could spend it with my friends.

I did not want to go to university. I rebelled, but I eventually went. I missed many classes because of this man. When my mother realised what was going on, it was late. I was pregnant by him.

We eventually got married, but my parents did not show up at our wedding.

Unfortunately, the child I was carrying died. I, however, eventually made up with my parents. All of my friends have better husbands with good jobs. That is why I am so I am annoyed to know that this man left me and went with another woman who had an infection and he passed it on to me. He did not even care enough about me to use a condom when he was having sex with other women.

Pastor, It really, really hurts me to know that he told my people that I was the one who cheated on him. It is such a wicked, wicked lie. I am in the process of getting a divorce from him. I am so turned off from him. Sometimes I can't even bear to hear his name.


Dear M.O.,

I hope that other young women who may read your letter to me will learn that tricking their parents or going against what their parents say can have dire consequences. You look back now with remorse and you wish you had not tried to be smart. This young taxi driver must have been very proud to have you as his girlfriend. The relationship went on for a long time until he got you pregnant.

Your parents felt embarrassed and disappointed and did not attend the wedding. Looking back now, they probably feel justified that they took the correct position.

I want to say that I wish you well. I can't say that you are wrong to divorce this man. He is a careless and irresponsible man.


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