Tired of depending on my man


March 30, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a 22-year-old mother of two living with the support of my children's father. He is a very good father and a very good partner. We have been together for four years, but now I am having a problem.

I think he is under pressure to do everything on his own, and I hate having to wait and depend on him all the time. I need my independence. I write to you because I am seeking your help in gaining employment.

Pastor, I have no qualifications and would like to go and pursue a course in hospitality and food and beverage, but in order to do so I need a job. I was once a cashier and a waitress.

I am depending too much on my partner. Even though he has not said anything about my unemployment, I know that a man can get tired of a woman who is depending on him for everything all the time, especially after four years.

Pastor, please help me. I await your response and I thank you in advance.


Dear Dependent,

I am impressed by your letter. I want to say that I believe that you are a very wise, young woman. I know that you have had two children with this man, and, unfortunately, you do not have a skill. But you are not a fool. You have had experience working as a cashier and a waitress. Whether you know it or not, these are skills. A person who is not trained cannot be a good waitress or a cashier. A good waitress has to have personality and be trained in how to serve her customers.

If one were to put an ordinary girl to work as a waitress, without training, she wouldn't last for a good day or night. She would cause the owner of the restaurant to lose business. Only a foolish manager would employ such a person.

What I am trying to say is that you should not put yourself down. You need more than what you have had and I can understand that. But you are a smart girl. You should seriously consider contacting the HEART Trust/NTA. They would give you all the information that you need to get some training in whatever field that you like. If you need subjects, they would advice you.

Your boyfriend is not complaining. This man really loves you. However, you know that if you were working, you would help to carry the burden of the house and children, etc. You should not be afraid to discuss your desire to work with him. Don't get into any argument with him, he wouldn't like that. Again, I congratulate you for being a wise woman. Try your best not have anymore children until you are in a better position.


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