Pregnant and hating my child's father


March 31, 2016

Dear pastor,

I am 20. Currently, I am completing a course with the HEART/Trust NTA. I recently found out that I am one month pregnant. The persons who do not know are my mother and my father because I am afraid of what they might have to say. I have been dating the man who got me pregnant for one year. He is 23 years old and he is a very nice person. Cutting a long story short, he told my brother that I am pregnant before I did. My brother asked me and I said yes, but his response was "A suh you trust dat deh man deh? you mus a fool". My brother knew about my relationship with him, and now my brother is telling me that my boyfriend got another girl pregnant. He said I should ask him about it because he cannot deny it. I was so appalled. I mean, I could not believe my ears.


I confronted my boyfriend and he denied it, and he said that I believe other people over him to ruin what we have. After I did that, he has been smoking and drinking hard as if he wants to hurt himself. Pastor, I am confused. I really want what we have to work because I don't want to bring a child in the world and he or she won't have a relationship with the father. I am just angry towards him and I really don't want to be, but I cannot stop myself when I remembered about what I had heard. Pastor, I do not know what to do. Please help!


Dear T.D.,

Your brother is not lying. And if you think that he is lying, ask him to contact the other young woman who is pregnant and find out who is responsible for her pregnancy. Why would your brother lie to you? And if this young man who got you pregnant is so sure that you are his only woman, why is he smoking and drinking excessively? He is probably doing so because he knows that he has found himself in a mess and he is afraid that he is going to lose you.

If he were not guilty, he would assure you that regardless what may happen, no one would come between the both of you. Therefore, you should just relax and take it easy. He cannot give you that assurance because he knows that your brother knows him well and knows his lifestyle, so he is afraid. And the way to deal with his problem is to drink and to smoke. Your brother feels disappointed in you because although he knew that this guy and you were in some sort of relationship, he did not believe that you would have been so careless to allow him to get you pregnant. That is why he considered you unwise to allow this guy to get you pregnant.

Please, do not hesitate to tell your parents that you are pregnant. It might be a big let down for them, but it would better for them to hear it from you than from others.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories