I skipped school for sex


April 01, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 18. I need your advice. I am still in school, but I hate it. Sometimes I skip school and go to my boyfriend's workplace and stay all day until it is time for me to take the bus home.

The first time I went he was annoyed. He did not like it at all. He told me I should have been in school.

He kept me in his office all day and insisted I study, what I would have done, had I gone to school.

When lunch time came, he ordered lunch. I had on my uniform so he did not want me to go buy lunch because someone from the school could have seen me.

My boyfriend and I have sex. I thought we would have had sex that day, before I went to his office, but he said no.

He was not in the mood and refused to lock his office door. He behaved as a real man, but I was upset because I was feeling horny.

I know you are going to say I am not talking as a schoolgirl should, but I am 18, so I am a big woman. My boyfriend is 30 and has a babymother. She knows about me, but does not know I am still in school.

My mother suspects I have a boyfriend. She asked me his name. I gave her the name of someone who is a friend but not my boyfriend. I like older men. My first boyfriend was 55. He took my virginity when I was 16.

I was very slim. He put me on his lap and my virginity was gone.

We broke up because he was watching me too much. He wanted to know everywhere I went, and every time he gave me money, he would ask me how I spent it.

One day his girlfriend came to him and I was there. She ran me out, called me 'mawga' girl and threatened to beat me so I never went back to his house.

Don't worry about me, Pastor, I am not going to get pregnant. Whenever I have sex and my boyfriend does not use a condom, I use the morning-after pill.

I hope you don't condemn me.


Dear F.T.,

You seem to be so proud of yourself. I wish you would not skip school to go visit your man. If you continue to do so, you are not going to do well in your exams. Unfortunately, what is on your mind is not school, but 'man'.

You believe what you want in life is sex and more sex. You are embarrassing your boyfriend when you show up at his workplace. Don't you know people will question why is it that you are in your boyfriend's office, in your school uniform?

How would your parents feel if they were to find out that instead of attending school you are with this man?

You don't care what you do, but this man cares. His reputation means something. Having said reputation, I wonder if I am really correct because how could he be protecting his reputation if he is 30 years old and has a schoolgirl visiting him at his work. Surely, he knows his co-workers will talk. What can he say to them?

It seems to me you have been carrying on this type of lifestyle for a long time. When you were 16 you had your first sexual experience with a man who was much older than your present boyfriend.

Why can't you learn to behave yourself? Don't you know these men will only use and dump you, and news will get around that you are easy to get?

Stop visiting this man at his workplace. Stop lying to your parents. Someone is going to blow the whistle on you if you don't learn to behave yourself and spend more time on your lessons.

If you want to have a bright future, you should learn to study hard and get a good career.


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