I caused him to leave, now I want him back


May 03, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I would love for you to give me some advice. I have messed up my relationship with a guy I was dating and had fallen deeply in love with.

My boyfriend, who I am trying to have back in my life, broke up with me in April when he saw that I went back on hi5 and did the same thing he had spoken to me about. I messed up badly. Now I am deeply sorry but he doesn't want to give me another chance because he has given me so many chances to change, stop doing things he doesn't like.

I am willing to change my ways just to have him in my life again. I will never make that mistake again. I will never do anything to hurt him again, just to be the one person in his life. I can't get him out of my life and I don't want to. I still love him and want to be with him.

I have texted him, asking for another chance but it is like I will never have that chance again. I want to show him how much I will change my ways.


Dear S.S.,

I am glad you are a regular reader of my column. Your boyfriend and you have broken up, but it is not the first time. It happened before. You forgave each other and went back together. It has happened again. This time, it seems as if your boyfriend has walked away for good. That is how you see it now. You haven't explained much about what went wrong that caused him to make this break that appears to be final.

I gather it has something to do with social media. Perhaps you have not used good judgement in whatever you did. You have to learn to listen. When a man has a girlfriend he has to listen to her and she has to listen to him. He shouldn't expect to just tell her what he wants or likes and expect her to follow.

On the other hand, she should not expect him to just hear what she says and follow her demands etc. They are to reason together and, from time to time, compromise.

If this man is so annoyed with you that he has finally ended the relationship, you have to learn to move on and consider it as a learning experience.


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