I don't have any feelings for my boyfriend


May 16, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have a big problem. I don't seem to have any feelings for my boyfriend anymore. When we first started dating, everything was okay. Now, things are not the same. Most of the time this guy will buy me nice things and do everything at the house, including wash, cook, and clean. I made up my mind to have sex with him, but when the time came, I would just sit and watch him. When he is ready, I can't get in the mood to have sex. So most of the time I have to force myself to do it with him, and it feels like he is raping me. He cursed me and I try to change because he is a good man, but I cannot change. I don't know if it is because of a past relationship which I was in.

I used to really love a guy and he abused me verbally, emotionally, sexually and physically. It got so bad that I had to run away to my parents' home. I really don't know what to do about this present relationship. I hate being this way. Please give me your advice. You always give good advice.


Dear T.J.,

You know that you do not love this man. He is trying his very best to win your love, but the love is not there on you part. That is why you feel as if he is raping you when both of you are having sex. It has very little to do with how your former boyfriend treated you. I am not telling you that you should have sex with this young man, I am only telling you the truth. Your heart is not with this young man. You cannot force yourself to love him. So stop using him and end the relationship with him.


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