I threw my husband out the house


May 21, 2016

Dear Pastor

Greetings to you. Your work is a source of strength to many of us. I will be 32 soon. My husband is 42. He is handsome. I told him he doesn't love me, but he denies it. We have three children. We are Christians.

Pastor he is an embarrassment to me. He has slept with many women from the church and outside.

When ever I threaten to leave him, he cry and begs me not to. I always forgive him. My cup has overflowed. I couldn't take it anymore, so I threw him out.

Everyone at the church knew what had happened between us. He said I was lying on him, but they knew he was the one lying.

I suggested we should go for counselling, but he is not interested. I can't continue like this.

He is a very good father to the kids, even now that we have separated, he still comes around and takes care of them. He just can't seem to stop zipping down his pants for every woman he meets.

I can't stand it anymore. He wants to come home but, even though I still love him, it hurts me to say yes. Pastor, please let me know your advice.

M. G.

Dear M. G.

Your husband has refused to go to see a family counsellor. Therefore by refusing to seek professional help, he is declaring he does not care what you say or do. He loves women and that is what is important to him. He takes care of his children so he doesn't have to live with you if you insist he should stop having affairs.

You have accused him of having sex with most of the girls in the church. Are you sure you are not exaggerating? What proof do you have?

I am sorry I can't hear his side of the story. Try persuade him to see a counsellor. Perhaps he will come to his senses after.

You have to stand your grounds. If he thinks you are joking and that you need him so much, he will never seek help.

Some men are clever. They agree to counselling, not because they want help, but because they want their wives to resume living with them. A few weeks after they are back together, they resume their old lifestyles.

You know this man is good in shedding crocodile tears, so don't allow the tears to cause you to be sorry for him and take him back while the problem remains.

Ask the members of the church to pray for you. Be civil with this man. Don't say anything negative about him around the children.


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