Girlfriend took over a dying woman’s husband

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column since I was in high school. I introduced it to my girlfriend, and she became addicted to it. Every day she wanted to buy THE STAR, so that she can read it.

Although this girl and I have broken up, I continue to read your column. After high school, I went on to learn to do electrical work. She said she wanted to learn to do nails and hair. She found a place, but she did not stay there long. The other girls who work at the parlour said she was always talking about wanting to meet a rich man. She was even on the streets after work, and I suspected that she was hustling. She did not have ambition. She wanted more than I was able to give to her.

She got into a relationship with a man who was in his 60s. His wife was sickly, so he took her into his place to help him take care of his wife. But the truth is that was only a cover-up. She became his second wife. I went to the house to see her and the man’s sister-in-law complained to me about my girlfriend. The lady told me that she is no good because her sister told her that at nights when she needed help to go to the bathroom, my girlfriend and the husband were in another room having sex.

I confronted her and she could not deny the things that I heard she was doing. She told one of her friends that the man’s wife couldn’t have sex and he was paying her not only to work at the house, but to have sex with him. Her friend told me everything.

When I told her I was leaving her, she told me I could do what I wanted because what I was giving her was ‘sweetie’ money. This man’s wife eventually died and people said that it was my girlfriend who killed her because she did not treat her well. She could not even attend the funeral because the woman’s relatives were planning to beat her.

I used to really love this girl, but she doesn’t have any ambition. She still calls me and suggests that we meet up. I don’t want to meet with her because I can’t trust her anymore.

R.

Dear R.,

I hope that this young woman will go back to school. She needs a good education or to learn a trade that she can do to support herself.

She was moving too fast when both of you were in a relationship. She wanted fast money. Perhaps she learnt to hustle on the street and suddenly the amount of money you used to give her became sweetie money. She wanted much more than you were able to give to her.

It was unfortunate that she took a job with a man who was much older, and took him over. When she should have been assisting his wife, she was in another room having sex with this man. The man’s sister-in-law confirmed that. These things do happen. I remember vividly how a woman had sex with another man in the presence of her husband. He could not do anything about it because he was ill. He saw the man having sex with his wife, but he could only watch. So there are times when people do things willfully and their spouses can’t do anything about it.

I hope you will never take this woman back into your life. I am not surprised that the woman’s relatives accused your ex-girlfriend of killing her. Sometimes when things don’t go right, people are quick to say who did something to cause the death of the deceased.

You have already broken up with this woman; don’t even give her a cent of what you earn. You know she is not good and all she wanted was your money. If she is still with this man, she is going to hold him and get every cent out of him and eventually leave him.

Pastor