My friend is giving my brother a 'jacket'


May 24, 2016

Dear Pastor:

I am writing to you about my girlfriend. She and I were in high school together and graduated together. She didn't go to college, but I went to college. She couldn't go be because she got pregnant and she told my brother that the child was his. He was excited because it was his first child. She planned that after she had the baby, she would go back to school. My mother promised her to keep the baby so she could go to college. My mother was excited, too, because this was her first grandchild.

When she was six months' pregnant, she came over to our house and we were talking about my boyfriend. She told me that she had something to tell and that I shouldn't tell anybody because it would affect the relationship with my brother. We used to talk every day because we were very close.

But what she told me surprised me. She told me that she cheated on my brother once and she was worried because it was after that that she missed her period. And she was wondering if the child was really for my brother.

I was so shocked, I became speechless. I asked her how come my brother did not question her about the pregnancy. She said they did not always use a condom, but he would withdraw when he felt like he was going to ejaculate. And when she told him that she was pregnant, he did not question it. He just said that he got caught.

I told her that I would not say anything to my brother, but it is bothering me. Why should I keep that as a secret from him? I did not expect her to cheat on my brother. Should I remain silent?

P. D.

Dear P. D.

Your friend was very careless, and she must bear the blame. She had a steady relationship with your brother. She should not have cheated. And if for some reason she believed that she had to cheat, she should have protected herself. The question is, why is she telling you of the incident now? Is it that she trusts you so much as a friend? Or is it because her conscience is bothering her and she feels that she wants your brother to know what she did in a roundabout way? I suggest, therefore, that you call her and tell her that you have decided not to tell your brother what she has told you, but you believe that he ought to know. You, therefore, are suggesting that she tell him herself. You may also suggest that she wait until she has given birth and then do a DNA test to prove paternity before she tells.


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