Grandma, mom, not getting along


May 25, 2016

Dear Pastor

I have a confession. My father is a Rasta, but never forced his children to be Rastas.

He live on his own in a house which belong to his mother. He is at our house every day. My mother cooks for him. They sleep in the same room until he is ready to go home.

His mother is always at home. He says he has to check on her because she is old and he doesn't want anything to happen to her.

My mother said he will not marry her until his mother dies, because his mother doesn't like her. She doesn't talk to him about marriage anymore. They have been together.

My mother has started going to church. They are still together. I asked my mother if that was not fornication? She said that the only thing she does not have was the ring.

His mother is not going to die now. She is very strong. My mother said she can't leave my father. He doesn't like the church she is attending. He wants her to go to another church. He said he talked to his mother, and his said it is my mother, who doesn't like her.

Whenever I go to see grandma, she asks me for my mother. She told me to tell my mother to come and see her. My mother said she is not going.

Family members say my mother 'tie' my father to her. And that my grandmother believes, that is why she doesn't like her. My mother does not believe in those things.

As far as we know, our father doesn't have any other woman. And he and my mother will never leave each other. Grandma has put my father's name on everything. My mother plans to go there to live after grandma. My mother wants to get married because she wants to take communion at church. My father said he was not stopping her.


Dear C.J.

I suggest your mother should forget the past. Whatever your grandmother might have said about her was in the past. She ought to learn to forgive.

Your grandmother has sent to call your mother, perhaps she is trying to make peace with her. Therefore, she should go, but ask your father to accompany her.

There are a lot of things that your grandmother might want to talk to her about. She doesn't want to die with these things on her mind. Therefore, she is reaching out to her in an effort to make peace.

Your father is a different type of Rasta. He supports his family and he supported the woman he loves. Evidently, your mother loves him dearly and is faithful and loyal to him.

I hope now that she is in church, he will marry her. He needs to have a quiet talk with his mother, show her why he wants to get married, assure her that getting married will not prevent him from taking care of her. Your father needs to free up your mother. You are old enough to have a talk with your father on your mother's behalf. I suggest you do so.


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