I feel my husband and his 14-y-o niece are lovers


May 25, 2016

Dear Pastor

I am writing to you for the first time. I do not want to embarrass myself or my husband. But I know my husband needs help.

We have been married for 10 years. I can't say that we have a perfect marriage, but we do get along.

We have our arguments, but we don't go to bed without making up. My husband said I am strong-headed. When I hold a point I don't give in easily. He is Mr Know-It-All.

We don't have children together. He had two before we got married. I can't have children. His two children live abroad. They are lovely boys.

My husband has a niece who we are helping. She doesn't live with us, but she spends time with us. You can call her our daughter because we give her everything that she needs.

She is very close to my husband. I warned him about that girl because she is always all over him. When she is not combing his hair, she is cutting his nails or doing something to him.


He told me I am jealous of the girl. I asked him how could I be jealous of a child.

One day both of them were together. He was sitting and she was standing very close to him. I swear I saw my husband with his hand under her skirt.

His back was turned to me. He pulled out his hand when I shouted at him and asked what was the problem.

I asked what he was doing. He said nothing. I asked his niece if he did not have his hand under her skirt, she said no.

I am not mad. I told my husband, then and there, that she had to leave and a big argument developed.

I asked his niece, again, why did he have his hand under her skirt. She said he didn't. I told him if she doesn't leave, I am going to report him for child molestation.

I talked to the girl alone in the evening. I asked her if my husband was touching her private part. She said no. They believe I am crazy but I know what I saw. This girl is 14, but she has body.

I told my husband I did not want the girl back to the house. Whatever we have to give her, we can send to her. I have since changed my mind. I told him that he can continue to help her but I am not going to help her because I believe they have something going on.

Do you think I am wrong? I would love to hear what you have to say.


Dear T.S.

I hope this incident will not lead to divorce. You believe your husband is too familiar with his niece. In your opinion, the relationship is more than an uncle-niece relationship.

It appears, to you, that they are lovers. Your husband said you are jealous of the relationship he has with his niece. Perhaps you are, indeed, jealous.


What your husband needs to understand female intuition. It is not madness. It is something men seem not to understand. Whether women are right or wrong, it's there.

I want to believe that your husband has been a little careless. I will not accuse him of being intimate with his niece.

You said you can swear that you saw his hand under her skirt. He said it was not true. She also denied it. You told him you want the girl out of your house. You have taken that position to protect her and your marriage.

I am wondering whether it was right for you to suggest she should not come back to the house. Whether you should take such drastic position in not giving her anymore financial help.

Even if you do not want her to visit the home anymore, I suggest you continue to help her financially? I would go further by saying you should give your husband the benefit of the doubt.

He denied what you have been accusing him of doing. Time will tell if he is, indeed, having any form of sexual contact with the young lady.

I further suggest you and your husband should make an appointment to see a family counsellor. You see, madam, if your husband is not guilty of what you have accused him of doing, he is going to hold it against you for the rest of his life.

You may also hate the girl for life for trying to take away your husband, so to speak, although she is at a tender age of 14. Seek professional help, I beg both of you.


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