My woman does not cook, clean or wash


May 28, 2016

Dear Pastor

Good day to you and your staff. I wrote to you before. I did not see my letter published. I am thinking you had not received it.

I am a security officer, living with a woman who does the same type of work. Before I met this woman, I had another girlfriend. We did not live together. She visited me.

One of the reasons I broke up with her was because she lied. She told me she was pregnant and couldn't carry the baby so she wanted money to do an abortion. When I told her I wanted my youth, she left. She never came back.

I saw her six months after. She wasn't pregnant. I am with another woman now, but she is not clean. She keeps the place untidy.

When she has her day off, she doesn't wash nor clean. If I don't clean the bathroom it is not cleaned.

It is a lot of things, Pastor. I have to spend my money on food. She buys fast food. She does not like to cook. I have never met a big woman, who does not like a clean house.

She is not all bad. When it comes to sex, she is the best. When she gets her day off, she prepares the bed with clean sheets because she wants sex. However, the kitchen utensils piles up and I have to wash them.

I asked her why she does not like to clean. She said she is not perfect and I should stop complaining.

I want to settle down but I can't see myself settling down with her.

Both pay the rent. That is all she does. I am saving towards buying a car. Help me, Pastor. What is your advice?


Dear R.N.

You do not spend enough time to get to know a woman before getting into a relationship with her.

The first girl tried to trick you. She wanted money, so she lied about being pregnant. The second woman seems to be a more mature person but is definitely not marriage material.

She takes no pride in the home. She doesn't do what most women love to do, to keep their home tidy.

You have talked too much about the house and she has not been showing any improvement. Which man wants to move around a filthy house every day?

Both of you are working so you need to learn to clean as well. The bathroom should be cleaned every day. How could your woman use it and not clean up? That is crazy. Why should the kitchen sink be loaded with dirty utensils?

You said the only time you find clean sheets on the bed is on the day she expects you to have sex with her. By now, you should know you are wasting time continuing with this woman. When does she wash? Does she believe you should pay somebody to wash and clean?

Perhaps you should discuss this with her. I don't see why two people living together and doing the same type of work need to have an argument over taking care of their little space.

This woman does not seem to be the type of person to be proud of as a wife. You should seriously consider ending the relationship.


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