Should I stop her from leaving, pastor?


May 31, 2016

Dear Pastor:

I am 20 years old and I am living with a woman who is 23. She has one child, but I am not the father. She left the father of the child because he was abusing her and he did not want to work. She was working in a supermarket and using her money to support him. Whenever she came home late, he would fight her. She has marks on her body to prove that he used to abuse her.

I was living with my mother and my sister when I met this girl, and I told my mother about her. She told me that she could come and stay with us for a week, but she wouldn't allow us to sleep together in her house because she was a Christian, and people who weren't married could not sleep together in her house.

That very week, I found a place about a mile from our house. The landlord agreed to rent it to us - one bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen - for $17,000 a month.

This young lady and I moved in, but now I am having problems. Her child's father wants her back. He said that he does not want his child to grow up with a stepfather. She said that she was not going back. He calls her every day. Now, she says that she will give the relationship with him another try because our rent is too high and we can't save anything.

I told her to give me all the money that I had spent. When we decided to live together I bought a stove and a refrigerator and I am paying for them. When she leaves, it is going to be hard on me.

I love this girl. When she was leaving her child's father she only took her clothes. Do you think that I should try to stop her from leaving?


Dear B.L.:

Do not try to prevent this young woman from going back to her child's father. Make sure you don't raise your hand to hit her. Everything she brought into that house, allow her to take. What I am trying to say is that you should allow her to have all her personal belongings. Evidently, her child's father has persuaded her that it is better for her to return to him and for everybody to live together as one family. Therefore, let her go in peace.

If you find that you are unable to pay for the appliances, return them to the company. You probably should consider giving up the one-bedroom flat and returning to your mother's house. I am sure she will gladly welcome you back.

Wish the young woman well, but if she gets into trouble with her child's father, don't take her back. This girl doesn't owe you anything. So stop talking nonsense about her giving you back everything you spent!


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