I'm confused whether I should take my ex-girl back


June 01, 2016

Dear Pastor:

This is my second letter to you as I wish to have your counsel again. I wrote to you before about my girlfriend, who said she was caught in a sticky situation but didn't go all the way.

Pastor, fate has it that it was revealed that she did go all the way and had somewhat of a relationship, with the guy. She did confirm it this time based on the evidence that was presented.

Pastor, I have decided to end the relationship but I'm finding it extremely difficult to move on. I was asked by a counsellor if I still deeply loved her or if she had other qualities such as if I saw her as a good mother and a good homemaker, to which I answered yes. He also asked me if I thought she was a good person separate from the indiscretion, to which I answered yes as well. He is of the belief that she only lied in an effort to save the relationship and that she has learnt her lesson.

Now, it's very hard to sleep through the night. I sometimes feel as if I would initiate a relationship with her again, and other times I feel as if the burden of what happened would be too much to live with. What should I do?


Dear Indecisive:

I suggest that you stop giving this woman the impression that you are Mr Perfect and that what she did was beyond forgiveness. She made a big mistake when she got involved with somebody else, but why are you trying to let everybody know that she cheated? If you want to end the relationship, do so and free up the young woman. If you do not know for sure what you should do, both of you can agree to separate yourself from each other for a while in an effort to see if you can live without each other. If both of you believe that you can't live without each other after you have been apart for some time, go for counselling and resume your relationship. But you should never talk about her cheating again. What I am trying to say to you is, behave as a big man. You are not sinless. Don't condemn this woman for her infidelity. Remember, you are not perfect.


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