I'm tormented by the abortion I had
I am 18 years old. I've graduated high school with good CSEC passes and have successfully completed my first year in college.
My reason for writing to you is that somewhere along the line I fell off, and I really need your advice. I don't have any family or elderly person that I can talk to about this.
When I was 13, I started having a relationship with a guy. We never met face to face until after I left high school. We had sex and I got pregnant. I found out when I was about three weeks' pregnant, and when I told him about it, he said it was up to me to carry it.
He started acting different. By the way he was acting I knew that he did not want the baby. He already had a child.
He was also saying that he didn't think I was pregnant, and even if I was, it might not be his. He was the only guy that I had sex with. That hurt me even more.
He works for the Government and is in a good job, but I was still in school, and if my family knew, they would have killed me. So I told my friends because I felt so heartbroken and alone.
One of my best friends stopped talking to me, but the other two were there for me right through. I was at the lowest point in my life.
I had an abortion. After the abortion I tried to be strong. I didn't cry about it until months later because I tried not to think about it. However, I can't seem to stop thinking about it.
I know that what I did cannot be undone, but it still hurts me. I didn't hear from the guy until months after he asked if I was still pregnant and I told him no.
Then days after, he wanted us to get back together, but I didn't agree. I tried talking to him about the abortion, but each time I tried, he said I was stressing him out, so I stopped talking to him.
Also, I'm concerned about something else. When I was a child I remember my mother saying that when God comes, the babies that were aborted would come back to life. I can't describe how I'm feeling right now.
Please let me hear from you soon. Please do not bash me. I just need your fatherly advice.
You signed as hopeless, but I will not address you as such because you are not hopeless in the true sense of the word.
You made mistakes but so did the guy who got you pregnant. You are taking the blame for everything, but it is the both of you who had unprotected sex, and I am assuming that he is older than you. He should have tried to protect you. He is a wicked guy.
When you told him that you were pregnant, instead of standing with you, he questioned whether you had sexual intercourse with another man. He didn't think highly of you at all. You should have absolutely nothing to do with him.
You have not said how you got the money to do the abortion. However, it is not unusual for women who have had abortions to be tormented by the thought for a long time. Some have had to go through therapy.
I want you to know that I am not condemning you for what you did; however, I am suggesting that you make an appointment with a family counsellor or a psychologist for sessions.
I also suggest that you spend much time in prayer and Bible reading and put this whole matter in the hands of God.
God will not condemn you. What you heard from your mother about abortions when you were a child can't be substantiated from Scripture, so set your mind at ease.