I think my man has other women

by

June 06, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have been with my boyfriend for about two years before his divorce from his wife. It is said that I am the one who caused the end of his marriage.

They were a well-known couple in my area, so I have to live with that every day. His daughters are grown ladies and they hate me, I guess for the same reason everyone else does. We have been together for six years now. He is quite a catch and I feel blessed that he chose me, but he also has a reputation of being a womaniser. He has convinced me that I am his girlfriend and he profiles only with me, but in the back of my mind I think he has other women, but has kept them well hidden. I am wondering if the end of his marriage will come back to haunt me; after all, I was his girlfriend on the side. What is your advice?

K.

Dear K.,

Regardless of the excuse you may make, you know that you contributed to the breaking up of this man's marriage. It is not my wish to condemn you. That is not my responsibility as a counsellor, but you should not give the impression that you are clean as a whistle. The people in the community knew that you had a relationship with this man. Your friends, his daughters and his wife knew that both of you were having an intimate relationship. It didn't bother you because you considered him as "quite a catch". People will talk and you could be hotter than hot, but unless this man really wanted to be with you, the relationship could not have taken place. The feeling was mutual. He wanted to be with you, too. Whatever he has, you wanted, and whatever you have, he wanted.

I want you to know that although you are keeping an eye on him because he is a womaniser, and you feel that there might be other women around, he is very much cognisant of that. And I want you also to know that if this man is bad, as you have declared, you can watch him 24/7, but you will never catch him in the act. The same is true for men who are watching their women. Smart women know when to do their thing and men who are watching them will never catch them. Even if this man has other women, he might (can't be sure) settle down with you. But don't expect his children to love you. And don't be surprised if, after he has been with you, he dumps you for another woman who is prettier than you. After all, he has a reputation as a womaniser and he likes pretty girls and you are not going to remain as pretty as you are now. Expect anything. I am sure you wanted me to tell you the truth, so I have told you. What goes around comes around.

Pastor

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