Worried I can't give my husband a child


June 13, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I love reading your column and I like the advice you give and your honesty. I am 25 years old and I'm planning to get married in October 2016. But I'm worried about not being able to give my husband a child. I was in a relationship before for almost seven years and I never used any contraceptives, but I still didn't get pregnant.

I really love kids and I hope to become a mother before I'm too old. I have very irregular periods, so I'm somewhat worried. My boyfriend and I are both Christians. He is a Seventh- day Adventist and I am a Sunday worshipper. I'm also concerned about that. What I want to ask you is whether you think he will stay with me even if I cannot have children. He says he will, but at times I don't believe him. I really love this guy and he loves me, too. He also takes very good care of me. We are both employed. I don't know what to do about the baby problem. I feel useless at times. I need your advice.


Dear Worried,

Having irregular periods does not mean that you may never get pregnant. They are many women who for years had irregular periods and became pregnant. Some of them did not realise that they were pregnant for a few months and it shocked them. But they love their children.

There are many causes of irregular periods, which I believe your doctor might have discussed with you. I will mention some of them here, which I have taken from 'Healthwise'. They are:

• Excessive weight loss or gain. Although low body weight is a common cause of missed or irregular periods, obesity also can cause menstrual problems.

• Eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia. For more information, see the topic 'anorexia nervosa' or 'bulimia nervosa'.

• Increased exercise. Missed periods are common in endurance athletes.

• Emotional stress.

• Illness.

• Travel.

• Medicines such as birth control methods, which may cause lighter, less frequent, more frequent or skipped periods, or no periods at all.

• Hormone problems. This may cause a change in the levels of the hormones that the body needs to support menstruation.

• Illegal drug use.

• Problems with the pelvic organs, such as imperforate hymen, polycystic ovary syndrome or Asherman's syndrome.

You may discuss these factors with your doctor. You presently have a good man and you should not doubt or worry whether not having children will cause your man not to love you. He has assured you that he will marry you regardless of the situation. You ought to believe him. He is not the problem. The problem is that you wish to have children and the thought of not having any is haunting you. God knows your needs and He also knows what is best for you. So try to be at ease. Don't let anything bother you.


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