I'm in a relationship with two men


July 11, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I would like to share a story with you.

I met a guy on WhatsApp. He is 32 years old. He is a very nice, loving and caring man. We became friends and soon after we initiated a relationship.

I did not really love him. He loves me a lot. The reason I stayed in the relationship with him was because he has money. I also didn't want to leave because he was taking care of my finances and I live with my mom, who is very poor. Anything I ask him for, I get it.

Soon after, I met another man who goes to my school. He is 19 years old. We became boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont' really love him, either. His love for me is very deep. Whenever I ask him for anything, he would give me if he has it.

However, the 32-year-old man constantly sees me in the town with the 19-year-old guy and he would always get very angry.

I think that the 32-year-old man is too old for me. My mom encourages me to talk to the 32-year-old man. I told her that he is my friend and I just need the financial help.

I also have sex with both men. The 32-year-old told me that he can't live without me and if I leave, he would kill himself. Tell me, pastor, what should I do? I am very confused.


Dear P.G.,

You are with this 32-year-old man because of what you can get. Your mother realises that you don't love him, but he can help you with your needs. So she is encouraging you to have an intimate relationship with him, it is a relationship which carries benefits.

You prefer to have the younger man, but the older man is upset. He is still having sex with you, but he is telling you that he cannot stand to see you with this younger guy. I want you to know that you are playing with fire. If you do not want this older man in your life, you should end the relationship with him and you should not take anything from him. If you continue to take money from him, he is going to demand sexual favours from you and the younger man will do the same. So tell your mother of the decision that you will make and stick with it. You are 18 years old, get yourself a job. This older man will not kill himself, but he may kill you. I am not wishing for that to happen, but I know that some men cannot bear to see their girlfriends associating themselves with other men. And this older man knows exactly what is going on. So I repeat, end the relationship with him.


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