Should I marry my cheating boyfriend?


July 13, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a young lady from Kingston. I am 22 years old. I am having a problem, so I decided to write to you.

My boyfriend is also 22 and he is always cheating on me. We have been together for two years now, and we also have a three-month-old daughter. She is my first child.

The first time I found out he was cheating on me was when I asked him who a certain girl was, and he told me that the girl was his cousin. I believed him.

A month afterwards, I found out I was pregnant. In the beginning, he was happy.

Then he changed and stopped coming around, and I heard that he was up and down with another woman.

When I called and asked him, he said it was a lie.

So one day he came over and we had sex. After he fell asleep, I took up his phone and found out that it was true. I cried every day.

The girl moved overseas, so he started to come around again. We talked and I forgave him. He told me that he loved me and he wouldn't cheat on me again or make me cry.

Pastor, I found out that he was cheating on me again from his friends and family members. They told me that he got another woman pregnant. When I asked him, he denied it.

One day I got a WhatsApp message from someone. He was making a pass at me, so I blocked him.

I later found out that it was not a guy. It was the woman who was pregnant for my boyfriend.

Now, she and her brother are trying to blackmail me. When I told my boyfriend, he said I was lying.

He called me and said that he was sorry because the girl sent him a naked picture saying I was making a pass at her brother, and he cursed her off because he knew how my body looked.

I blocked my boyfriend from my phone for days, and he called my mom, saying that he wanted to see his daughter, so I unblocked him because I didn't want to stop him from seeing his child.

He is now telling me the truth, saying that the girl is really pregnant. He said he used a condom, but the condom broke. So perhaps he is the father of the child.

Because the girl has her man now, he is saying he is sorry and wants to marry me. He bought a wedding ring.

He is abroad, but he is coming in December to marry me. I am confused because I still love him. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

A. S.

Dear A. S.,

You can never be sure that this young man will not cheat again and that he will not continue to lie. He seems to be very good at lying, so I don't think that you can trust his word.

I am not telling you not to marry him. I am only making the point that no woman who is in her right mind can fully and whole-heartedly trust a cheater and a liar. She would be very foolish to stick her head out for him, so to speak.

I know that what I am saying to you is not what you expected to hear.

I am only trying to tell you the truth. But the decision to marry him or not marry him is solely yours to make.


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