I love my woman in Ja, but have another in the US


July 14, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I need your help. I am a 30-year-old man and I am in love with a 39-year-old woman. She has three children for her husband, but they are separated and now going through a divorce. She is a friend of my cousin. She is half-white. My cousin introduced her to me. He told me that I should try her because she liked him. He said he could not be invoved with her on because he is married, so he encouraged me to take her out. This woman got me a job at the same place where she works, so she was watching me all the time. She would pick me up for work and take me home.

She introduced me to her children. Her oldest child is a boy and he does not like me at all. He is 12 years old. She loves me very much. She likes when I cook. I do everything for her, except wash her clothes. I don't like how the children talk to her. When I speak to her about it, she reminded me that they are children.

I have a girlfriend in Jamaica. Every time I go to bed with this woman, I feel guilty because I told my girlfriend in Jamaica that I am going to come back and marry her. But this woman wants us to get married soon after she gets her divorce. I don't know what to do. My cousin told me to forget my girlfriend in Jamaica because she can't help me. But I can't do that because when I was down in Jamaica, she was the one to help me out. I don't want to leave the job because where I am, jobs are not easy to get and I like what I am doing. But how could I deal with this woman? The sex is good, but I don't love her as much as I love my girlfriend in Jamaica.

V. M.

Dear V. M.,

Do not follow the advice of your cousin. Break up this relationship with this married woman. You are heading for trouble. You have your woman in Jamaica. Both of you love each other. You gave her your word that you would return to Jamaica and marry her, keep your word. Be a man, a real man. This woman is glad to have you, but she is not the woman for you.

You are going to get yourself into trouble if you continue to be intimate with her. And please remember that if you were to marry her, you are thereby taking on the responsibility of her three children. Try your best to get another job so that you would not feel obligated to this woman. Perhaps your cousin would say that you are a real fool to leave this job and this woman, but believe me, it is the right thing to do.

Her eldest child doesn't love you. Folks may say that he may change because he is just a child. But there are no good reasons why you should put yourself under such pressure. So I say to you, get yourself another job. You are trapped, but you can get out of the trap if you use common sense. Even if you have to leave the area, do so. Get a job elsewhere. I repeat, leave this woman. And when possible, come back to Jamaica and marry your honey. Keep your word.


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