My boyfriend wants sex but I am not ready


July 14, 2016
Uterine Fibroids can be very painful.

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 18. He does not act his age. He is very mature. He told me that he has been sexually active since he was 17 years old. I have never had sex. I told him that I prefer older men because my friends told me that when young men have sex with them, they (the boys) would go and talk about it.

Many times I feel like having sex, but I try to control myself. I would take a shower and read and try to take my mind off it. I find a way to deal with my sexual urges. I play with myself and then I would fall asleep. Sometimes I turn my phone off because every time this guy calls me at night, that is all he has on his mind.

He told me that if I don't have sex with him soon, he will turn to other girls. I don't want him to leave me. All my friends have boyfriends and they have been having sex. I pretend that I am doing it, but I am not. My mother says that she walked down the aisle as a virgin and that I should try and keep myself together and try and do the same. I am presently attending college. Some of the guys I see there are really handsome and they are older than my boyfriend. One is a teacher and I really like him, but he hardly talks to me. I don't know why. Sometimes I tell myself that I will get married very soon after I leave college, and have children. But this guy who loves me is not ready to be a husband.

I read your column every day, so I am looking out for my answer in THE STAR.

F. G.

Dear F. G.,

You will not die if you do not have sex. Nobody dies from the lack of sex. And you need to be commended for remaining chaste, although many of your girlfriends are sexually active. You shouldn't pretend that you are sexually active to feel like you are a part of the crowd or to give your friends the impression that you are just like them.

Evidently, your boyfriend is a wild young man. He is only 18 years old; he has a long way to go before he settles down. You are in college and ahead of him. Try your best to get a good education. Don't allow him to pressure you to agree to do something that you don't want to do. What a wonderful thing it would be if you can do as your mother did and walk down the aisle as a virgin.


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