I forced her away, now I want her back


July 15, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old young man. I have a problem. Sometimes I do not have any control over it, and am seeking your advice.

I fell in love with a girl, but we ended the relationship. We don't communicate anymore. Well, at least not in the way we used to do. If we speak, it would have to be me that sends her a message or call first.

The problem I'm having is that I thought we were in love but, if one loves somebody, why would one leave?

I am a good guy, honestly, but I am not perfect. Sometimes I mess up, big time, and she would forgive me, but this time it's different. This time she is obviously done trying.

I love her a lot and it is a struggle to get her out my head. She knows, but probably wouldn't understand.

I think the main reason she left me was because I wanted sex. She is a virgin. We were together for a year and six months. She is 16 and I am 19. She will be 17 soon.

She said she wasn't ready for sex and, to cut the story short, she is giving me up for somebody else, because we want two different things.

What puzzles me is, was it love or was she using me? If a girl really loves a guy, would she leave because of that? Sometimes I lose sleep and feel as if I am slowing going insane.


Dear J.T.,

This girl was quite correct in ending the relationship with you. You wanted sex and she told you that she was not ready to have sex, evidently you insisted. I am sure that is what you mean when you say you messed up. She told you to go. She is an intelligent girl. You have to learn to respect women and when they say no, you should accept their position and don't try to force them. I am sure you would miss this girl, but you have blown the relationship and you do not have anyone to blame, but yourself. Perhaps this would teach you how to conduct yourself when you meet another girl. You will get over this one; it may take a while, but you will.


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