I am on the verge of killing myself!
I'm a regular reader of your column. I never imagined myself writing to you, but here I am. I am 21 years old and I have a one-year-old child. He is a blessing. But I wish I had everything to give him. His father is a great man, but he doesn't have a job at the moment.
Pastor, he searches for jobs every day, but nothing. It's like God turned his back on me. We fight quite often in front of our child. Everyone knows about our fights.
I fell out of love with him because of many reasons, such as his jealousy and his abusive nature, but he will never let me move on. He would show up at my house and hit me, but yet says he loves me. I've cut him off completely now. I am stressed out, pastor. I pray, but I have lost my faith. People make it seem as if I am a failure. I am solely depending on my family. I seek jobs, but nothing. I'm on the verge of killing myself because nothing is going well. I await your response.
Dear S. M.,
No woman should allow her boyfriend to beat her up. You have not said that you have ever reported him. That is what you should have done. He should have been arrested, charged, tried and sentenced to prison. You are making a mistake by believing that God is responsible for not providing a job for your child's father and that God has turned his back on you. Why do you believe that you can live any way you feel and then ask God to provide for you? The Bible says that God will provide the needs of Christians. But even Christians at times go through trials and have to learn how to wait on God to meet their needs. Many non-Christians only turn to God when they are in need, and that is exactly what you are doing. God cannot be used and although he sends his blessings upon the just and the unjust, he has not assured his blessings to those who do not love him. I suggest that you put your boyfriend's case to the test. You need to report him to the police and that should be done now.